Salute to the ‘Other Mothers’… On This 100th Anniversary of Mothers Day

On the 100th Anniversary of Mother’s Day

Mother's Day is a celebration honoring mothers and motherhood, maternal bonds, and the influence of mothers in society. It is celebrated on various days in many parts of the world, most commonly in spring… In the United States the celebration of Mother's Day began in the early 20th century; it is not related to the many celebrations of mothers and motherhood that have occurred throughout the world over thousands of years.  The modern American holiday of Mother's Day was first celebrated in 1908, when Anna Jarvis held a memorial for her mother in Grafton, West Virginia. Her campaign to make "Mother's Day" a recognized holiday in the United States began in 1905, the year her beloved mother, Ann Reeves Jarvis, died.  In 1912, Anna Jarvis trademarked the phrases "second Sunday in May" and "Mother's Day", and created the Mother's Day International Association. It was officially declared a holiday by President Woodrow Wilson in his 1914 presidential proclamation and by the U.S. Congress in relevant related bills.

“All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel Mother."  …Abraham Lincoln

I would like to dedicate this piece to all the ‘other mom’s out there… the adoptive moms, the stepmoms, the foster moms, the grandmothers, the aunts, older sisters and the God-mothers who stepped in, stepped up to help and in many cases took over the role of ‘Mother’ for many many children, but are later far too often forgotten, neglected, taken for granted and even shunned when the absentee moms or their families suddenly step back into the children’s lives that they abandoned… After those heroes the adoptive moms, the stepmoms, the foster moms, the grandmothers, the aunts, the sisters and the God-mothers stepped in and did their jobs, gave their children more and very often loved their children more than they ever considered, wanted to give or had to give, they too often then swoop in play on the heartstrings of the children who felt abandoned and benefit from the love of the people who nurtured their children. 

Anyone can be a Mother or Father… it is just a biological process. Not everyone can be a loving and nurturing Mom or Dad!  We all have a birth or natural mom somewhere and more women than not are natural or birth mothers; most making the transition to be a loving ‘mom’, but it is not until you walk in the shoes of an adoptive mom, a stepmom, a foster moms, or a grandmother, aunt, older sister or God-mother who had to take on the full mother role for someone else that you can understand that true dynamic.

It is easy to step in later, when the work is done and the bonds are forged, to fulfill ones own needs at the expense of the emotional well-being of the children left behind and the women who gave their all, including their hearts to those children when it was needed most.

I am a daughter, a sister, a niece, was a very involved aunt and have had the unique privilege of being a mom… a  stepmother to 3-children under 2-separate circumstances as well as being an adoptive mom.  I worked for one of the top children’s facilities in the country and have seen it all… the kind of ugly that nobody wants to think about and a few miracles along the way.  And I also have friends who are adoptive moms of kids that know and don’t know they are adopted, that are stepmoms under a myriad of circumstances, a few amazing foster parents, some family members who raised family members and some kids that came out of all those types of situations.  And I know some birth family members and birth mothers who made all the wrong and unfair decisions over and over again as well as step-families who never got it.  For me personally, It has been an honor, a source of endless frustration, the greatest joy in my life and the most heart-wrenching pain in my life to fill the various rolls of motherhood. 

Here are few letters from daughters:

From ‘Annie’s Mailbox’:

To a one-in-a-million Mom, to you, dear lady, for all the dreams you dreamed for us. Not one of us became the ballerina or vocalist or pianist or doctor or lawyer you were hoping for. The boys didn’t become millionaires, and the girls didn’t learn to speak six languages. Instead we are the children who forgot to say “thank you” when it probably would have meant a lot to you. We are the ones who talked when we should have listened. We are the little tykes who woke you before dawn to serve you the breakfast-in-bed birthday special: burnt toast, weak tea, unscrambled eggs and half-raw bacon swimming in grease. We gathered around your bed and sang “Happy Birthday, Dear Mommy.” You pretended to be thrilled and tried your darnedest to eat the mess we brought to your bed.

Our childhood is over, and here are the “thank-yous,” many years overdue. Thank you for being there when we needed you. Thanks for being our tower of strength when you needed support yourself. Thank you for believing in us when we had trouble believing in ourselves. Thank you for saying what we needed to hear and for knowing when silence meant more than words. Your wisdom seemed to come from a place that none of us could ever figure out. Thank you, Mom, for allowing us to dream our own dreams, even though your dreams were more glamorous. And thank you, too, for never letting on when we disappointed you.

Most of all, Mom, thank you for giving us the room we needed to grow and the freedom to learn from our own mistakes. We hope we can do half as well with our kids. — YOUR LOVING CHILDREN

Sent directly to Ask Marion:

I was adopted, but never knew it, until by birth mother showed up at our doorstep.  It was  a closed adoption and I never had a clue.  My adoptive parents and family were my family (still are) and I always felt like I was the luckiest kid there was, having such a great family and so many opportunities.  There was nothing that my parents didn’t or wouldn’t do for me and with me, yet they were strict; they instilled all the important values in me.

My life was turned upside down and it took years to recover from the selfish disruption caused by my birth or so-called real mother.  I was depressed for years and it almost destroyed my adoptive mom.  I chose never to see my birth mother again after that visit, but life was never quite the same, never as good, never as normal.  My adoptive parents and family are my family, my real parents, not the women who upended my life twice.  I only hope that I did not inherit her selfishness!  -- YOUR LOVING REAL DAUGHTER IN NEW YORK

Journal Standard:

Every Mother’s Day, I think of how often the amazing love that can be conferred by stepmothers is ignored on this day. When I was very little, my biological mother passed away. A few years later, my father married a wonderful woman who helped raise me. People often asked me whether she was my real mom. I always answered “yes.” We shared real smiles, had real fights and have real memories. She also put forward an enormous effort to make sure I maintained the cherished relationship I had with my biological mother’s family.  

These women are there, attending our games and dance recitals. They are there when we need a shoulder to cry on. And they are there to pick us up when we fall. They may not have given birth to us, but they are real mothers. — A REAL DAUGHTER IN NEBRASKA

Sent directly to Ask Marion:

My sister and I were in and out of group homes, with some incremental stops back with our parents, for years.  The short times back home were always bittersweet.  We knew they were temporary and even the short stays were like riding a roller coaster.  Then came my foster mom… foster parents.  They took my sister and I in and we have been part of their family every since and will be for the rest of our lives.  They cared about us and we grew to love each other.  We finally had a stable family; people we could depend on and a home.  -- GRATEFUL DAUGHTERS WHO LOVE YOU IN CALIFORNIA

Sent Directly to THITW:

My parents were teenagers when I was born.  My grandmother was fun but, to be honest she and her husband were flakes. Ultimately I was adopted through a family adoption.  The agreement was that it be a closed adoption; I was only 15-months old and apparently had no bonding with my birth mother who was not with my natural father. And from what I hear I spent a lot of time with the relatives that would be my mom and dad and, I never asked about my birth mother once after going to live with them as my permanent family.  At age 19 the rug was pulled out from under me when an uncle under pressure from my birth mother and her father told me I was adopted, with no advance warning or preparation.  I had led a storybook life, had everyone in my life as part of the family and, I had no inkling that I was adopted.

My birth mother and birth grandfather along with an idiot uncle destroyed my life.  I went off the deep end, destroying my relationship with the parents who really loved me and It ultimately killed my adoptive mother due to a deep and prolonged depression.  I was a fool and I would ask everyone who is lucky enough to have someone adopt your child and give you a second chance to start over to think twice about disrupting the lives of your child who has a good home and normal life as well as the life of the women (parents) who took on your responsibility, your place, and your job.

Ask yourself… why do you deserve to ruin your child’s life twice as well as the life of the women, the family, that gave both you and your child a fresh start, probably better than you ever could have, and destroy their home, their sanity and their family just to fill some hole or need within you.  Haven’t they already given you enough?  --FROM YOUR LOVING DAUGHTER WHO WILL ALWAYS BE SORRY FOR MY HESITATION! I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU DEARLY IN OKLAHOMA

Sent Directly to Ask Marion:

I want to thank my Aunt and Grandma who raised me, loved me and were always there for me.  I never missed not having my mom; they filled every void.  I DO miss that I never knew her since she died in child birth giving me life, for which I will be eternally grateful.  --YOUR GIRL FOREVER IN IDAHO

So please… remember the moms… the women who raised you, who loved you and who were there for you.  That is the true definition of a Mother… a Mom and Motherhood.  Call them today and every Mother’s Day! 

Related:

Animal Moms – Happy Mother’s Day 2014 

Sarah Palin's Views on Hillary Clinton (Becoming a Grandma), Donald Sterling and More!  

School Nixes Mother’s Day and Father’s Day for More Inclusive ‘International Day of Families’ (2013)

10 Top Reasons to Adopt A Pet On Mother’s Day… Or Any Other Day 

Mother’s Day 

Mother’s Day Part 2 – A View From Different Perspectives 

Rare Set of ‘Mono Mono’ Twin Girls Enter World Together In ‘Beautiful’ Way: Holding Hands 

Mom's emotional health during child's early years linked to teen's oral health

Technorati Tags: Holidays,Mother's Day,Mothers,Grandmothers,Stepmothers,Adoptive Mothers,Foster Mothers,Gratitude,Parenting,Anniversaries,Pet Mothers,Children,Furkids,Animal Moms,Love,Aunts,God Mothers,Thank-Yous,Bonding,The Forgotten,Remembering,Great-Grandmothers

Mother's Day: 4 Gifts That Last Longer Than Just One Day

Mother's Day: 4 Gifts That Last Longer Than Just One Day (ABC News)

Forget flowers and spa treatments. The stuff moms really want can't be bought.

"What they really want is to be less stressed," said Bruce Feiler, a family expert and author of best seller "The Secrets of Happy Families: Improve Your Mornings, Rethink Family Dinner, Fight Smarter, Go Out and Play, and Much More."

Feiler knows the perfect gifts that promise to give mom the ultimate stress relief - relief that lasts a lot longer than just a day.

Here are four ways to make mom happier:

1) Tackle the hardest part of the day - de-stress mom's morning

"You stop any mom on the street and ask them what's the worst time of the day, they're going to say the morning," Feiler said.

Researchers have found that the highest stress times in families occur in moments of transition. The hour after everybody wakes up in the morning and the hour after everyone comes home in the evening are particularly vulnerable, according to Feiler.

Feiler recommends these additional tips:

Create a morning checklist where kids are responsible for checking off their own obligations.

Choose alternate weeks where different members of the family play "morning captain."

Assign days of the week where children either prepare breakfast or serve as sous chef for a parent.

Besides reducing parental yelling, you'll help your kids. Children who plan their own schedules and evaluate their own work build up their brains and learn to take more responsibility.

Feiler suggested transferring responsibilities to the kids, that way mom doesn't have to nag them to keep on schedule.

"You can assign a child certain days of the week where they are the captains of the morning, so it is their job to actually monitor everybody else to make sure they get the things done," he said.

2) Reduce sibling fights

Studies have shown siblings between the ages of 3 and 7 clash three and a half times per hour.

Feiler addressed this problem in his house with the help of a course from the team at the Harvard Negotiation Project.

Feiler implemented the following actions:

When problems erupt, we separate them to allow them to cool off.

Then we ask each party for three alternatives.

Usually, they insist theirs is the only option, but eventually, they relent. Then we bring them back together.

At that point, with so many options on the table, a solution usually arises fairly easily.

3) Spice up mom's date night

Instead of the usual dinner and a movie, steal an idea from Hollywood hit "500 Days of Summer" and try out karaoke night.

Feiler said if you want to improve your relationship, try something novel with your partner.

Here are some date night ideas:

Helen Fisher of Rutgers has observed that couples who participate in activities that are unusual or different.

Take an art class

Drive to a new part of town

Cook a new recipe and flood their system with the same chemicals as couples just falling in love.

4) Let her win every argument for a month

All families have conflict and those who control and manage that conflict can make their family happier.

"Tell your wife she can win every argument for a month, what that means is when you're getting it when you're disputing, whatever you're disputing, you get to the point and you say this is your month to win," Feiler said.

Here are some other tips:

Alternate who gets to win arguments every week. That way, just when a fight threatens to overwhelm an evening, the pre-assigned winner claims the prize and harmony is restored.

In honor of Mother's Day, why not extend Mom's week to a month. By then, Father's Day will be just around the corner, and maybe she'll return the favor.

Technorati Tags: Mother's Day,holidays,families,moms,destressing

Mother’s Day Part 2 – A View From Different Perspectives

A mother 5,580 times over

Sunday, May 10, 2009

“Oh God, I thank you for food, clothes and shelter, love and understanding, and for friends that are necessary for me to grow to be a strong, respectable person. Grant me self-control, self-respect and peace within. Amen.”

Around their forest green dining room, children with voices light as the wind and heavy with bass recite the pre-meal prayer Ollivette Allison penned 40 years ago.

And, with that, pork roast, corn, green beans, rolls, milk and sliced peaches are served to Allison’s 50 “babies.”

Allison, 85, is executive director of the Carrie Steele-Pitts Home in northwest Atlanta, a group home for neglected, abandoned, abused and orphaned children that was founded as an orphanage in 1888.

Allison herself was a resident of Carrie Steele-Pitts, arriving there with her two brothers on Aug. 31, 1936. She lived there through her years at Spelman College and at Atlanta University’s School of Social Work. She’s now worked there for nearly 70 years, nearly half that time as executive director. Today will be the 72nd Mother’s Day she’s spent at the home.

She knows precisely how many children have come under her wing since 1950, when she became the home’s first social worker. As of April 28, the number was 5,580.

Some of them stayed for just an hour or just a day. Some stayed for most or all of their childhood. But they are all Allison’s children.

Mae Frances Bullard, a lieutenant in the Fulton County Sheriff’s Office, was dropped off at Carrie Steele-Pitts with her sisters at age 10. She lived there until she left for Morris Brown College.

“I didn’t really get the opportunity to be around my mother a lot because my mother left when I was a baby. But in my mind, I always thought a mother was someone who was always there for the child and who loved and nurtured the child,” said Bullard, 50, of Union City. “That’s what Ollivette has been to me.”

Meaning of mother

On a recent sunny afternoon, Allison mused about Bullard and others she and her staff have cared for.

“The children come from all kinds of hurt and shocks and all kinds of disappointment, things you can’t imagine a young child should have to bear,” she said. “So you do everything the best you can and you do it with consistency, persistence and a lot of patience, love and understanding.”

“Hello ladies, come here. Come in here a minute, please!” she called out from her glass-fronted office, putting aside whatever she was doing to get a little face time with each child who passed by. “You have such pretty colors on today,” she tells a shy girl. “Why did you leave for school so early today?” she asked a boy. As he explained, she inquired about a small sore she noticed on his arm.

Allison said she doesn’t set out to be a substitute mother or grandmother. “I just try to be whatever they want me to be,” she said, “whatever they perceive me to be.”

Though she’s never told Allison, former resident Bullard said “I used to always wish I was her biological child.”

And though she’s never had children of her own, Allison has a strong sense of what motherhood means.

It’s having “a sense of caring and of being thoughtful and a sense of what cleanliness is all about, what sitting down together and eating at a table is all about,” she says. “It’s saying ‘Good morning’ and knowing that school is important, manners are important, and how you treat a child will give you the end results. Children imitate us whether we know it or not.”

Allison never misses a teaching moment, or a chance to praise. And like many mothers, she amazes her charges by seeming to have eyes in the back of her head. Her secret: positioning herself so she can catch kids’ reflections in the glass of doors and picture frames.

Preaching, praising

Dinner is “prime time” at Carrie Steele-Pitts, Allison says. As she firmly quiets the chatter of those at the decorated tables, apron-wearing older teens serve bowls and platters of food.

Dessert is followed by sharing time. One child reads a poem. A staff member offers a thought for the day. Then someone begins talking out of turn, drawing a warning from Allison. “You don’t want Ollivette to get up and do her thing,” she says. “You know I’ll do it.”

Once order is restored, it’s open mike time. A girl tells everyone she and another girl at her table have passed all of their graduation tests. There is wild applause. Another girl is excited that she will take class pictures the next day.

Then it’s Allison’s turn to speak. Naturally, moms get the last word.

“Each day you’re here you’re making a mark on what you’re going to do for the next years to come,” she preaches. “I expect you to grow up to be big strong men and women with grace and dignity, with love for your families and to get a good j-o-b. That way you can do big things for yourself and for your families and for the community.”

Allison has no plans to retire but has told her board of directors to be ready to replace her. She said she can sense that she’s almost ready to leave. But when she does, her legacy will live on.

In 2004, the Ollivette Eugenia Smith Allison Life Learning Center, complete with gym, swimming pool, kitchen and a meeting room, opened on the home’s 26-acre campus. It also holds a small chapel, anchored by a stained-glass window featuring an image of a lamb.

“A little lamb is the most humble thing in the world,” said Allison, who requested the image. “It needs a lot of protection, and that’s what children need. When you love them and pet them, they’re like little lambs.”

The Carrie Steele-Pitts Home can be reached at 404-691-5187.

“Milestones” covers significant events and times in the lives of metro Atlantans. Big or small, hugely celebrated or known only to a few —- tell us of a milestone we should write about. Send an e-mail to milestones@ajc.com or mail to Milestones, c/o Michael Gray, 72 Marietta St. NW, Atlanta GA 30303. Please include your phone number and/or e-mail address.

Not so Happy Mother's Day

I have thought of writing this for every Mother's day for years but somehow never got down to it. So finally, here I am.

I am truly happy for all those who celebrate the miraculous gift of maternal love on this planet. You are truly blessed. There are mothers who are living examples of that amazingly wondrous selfless love who have inspired greatness in this world. Mothers are big hearted; supportive, loving and loyal to their children. Even an animal mother is programmed by nature to nurture and protect. Didn’t someone say God created mothers to take his place when he is not available?

But then, in our zeal to celebrate this great blessing, we sometimes forget the 'less fortunate' among us. Not the handicapped or challenged or poor... but the least fortunate among us the mother-loving who are 'cursed' with the 'bad karma' (it seems) of imperfect mothers... more like really bad mothers, cruel mothers, mothers who messed up our lives and deny it... and those who exist in the cross sections. Yes, THAT now is the reality.

When we are up there preaching and advocating the virtues of respecting and loving mothers, let us not forget (sometimes in our self righteousness) that there are (unfortunate) people out there with valid reasons to 'hate' their mother as well; and that by not joining in the adoration, it does NOT make them lesser beings to those who do. Just as you celebrate, they are hurting equally inside.  I have yet to come across a true and honest admission from those who do belong in this discreet group of people, though they are many, mainly because a fear of disapproval or being judged as an 'unforgiving, ungrateful child'. It can be a vicious circle, to end up with an 'unloving mother'... and being tagged as 'unloving child' in return. I wish for this message to go out to those fortunate people who are so ready to judge... to let it be. Unless you have not experienced a life bereft of a true mother's love, you will never know how it is, and I pray that you never will.

In this unpleasant reality, I decided to believe that no mother chooses to be a bad mother, knowingly or unknowingly, they just are. Some so bad that your whole life will be a sad (cruel) twisted result of her devastatingly damaging effects. Bad mothers are accidents (freaks) of nature, at least that's the only reason to it that I can fathom, that I can take comfort in. Because I am one of the 'unfortunates' though I clearly believe I don’t deserve it, karma or not. In this case, extremely unfortunate because the problem is so deep yet so elusive, a third person would never even realize it or want to as it would shatter all their rosy notions and images of a child cuddled up in a mother's loving embrace.

I knew something was wrong from the day I learned to differentiate right from wrong but went through years of denial. The questions I always asked then were "what did I do to deserve this", "how can I make her happy", "why is it never enough" and finally I just gave up trying which brought me to a rapid decline in self worth and love because I always thought to be a good child you must love your mother no matter what you get back. After all isn't unconditional love a natural bond between a child and mother? Each time I felt I had failed to live up to expectations, another part of me died.

I was subjected to repeated rejections (not good enough), isolation (from any moral support from others) and manipulations (of my feelings) and sabotage (when I did learn to fight). Even as I write, I am troubled, feeling if I use such strong words and there is a lingering of the absence of hope that I was wrong somewhere. Yes, there is one thing I can acknowledge today, is that my greatest tests of endurance and strengths have been through the Lessons of having had that Imperfect Mother. And for what it's worth, “Happy Mother's Day”.

Posted by: ravindranps

For these moms, a dog-day afternoon

Pedro and Princesa, a pair of very well-dressed Chihuahuas, scampered into Unleashed Indoor Dog Park like a couple late for the party.

After all, it was Mother's Day, and Princesa and Pedro were here to celebrate with their "mom," Betty Orellana.

Pedro, one handsome little dude, was decked out in a bright print shirt, khakis, tinted shades and the tiniest sandals imaginable – until you saw the shoes on Princesa, who accented her look with a sparkly frock that exactly matched mom's vivid green blouse.

The oohs and ahhs followed in their wake – "Look, look!" and "Aww, how cute!" in several variations – and Orellana doted on her kids like any proud momma.

"Their father passed away about a year ago in a motorcycle accident," said Orellana, of Mesquite, "and we didn't get to have kids.

"Pedro and Princesa are my children. They're the only kids I have."

So she decided to go out with the kids, to a party with other moms and their "fur babies" to be treated and pampered and, for once, to feel they weren't left out on Mother's Day.

"It's wonderful!" Orellana said. "When one of the ladies here told me they were having a special Mother's Day, I couldn't believe it!"

Kelly Acree, an owner and co-founder of Unleashed in Far East Dallas, said that when she and her partners assembled a business plan for the indoor dog park – the first of what they hope will be many – they noticed an interesting demographic development.

"We saw that young people weren't getting married as early as they used to, and that a lot of single guys and girls have a pet as a 'child,' " Acree said. "There's a real trend in society – more humanization of pets. It used to be they spent their time out in the yard. Now they sleep in the bed with you."

And the pets help meet basic human needs of love and companionship for people who often have no one else.

Call it puppy love.

"I don't know what I would have done without Pedro when my husband died," Orellana said. "He sure filled a void when I lost the man I loved."

Across the room, new arrival Carrie Johnson of Dallas took in the scene – lots and lots of women and men and a whole bunch of dogs romping and wagging and having a great time.

The grown-ups carried gift bags and sipped wine and nibbled candy or cakes, or maybe enjoyed the ministrations of a masseuse. And the dogs were busy being dogs.

"This is so cool," Johnson said, leading in Sebastian, a little fluff ball of a Shi-Tzu.

"Mother's Day can be hard when don't have children. You feel like it isn't a day for you.

"But this is a day for all of us.

By: MICHAEL E.YOUNG / The Dallas Morning News

Happy Mother's Day to the mothers of special needs children

The "perfectly beautiful son" has a son of his own.

Mother’s Day is coming and I thought it would be a good idea to shine the limelight on the very special mothers of the very special children who were born with, or later developed, disabilities. These mothers have to deal with most of the same confusing challenges that mothers of able-bodied children do along with some that can scarcely be imagined by mothers who haven’t “been there.”

Some of you may remember reading in my blog, Children of Disabled Parents Can Be Extra Resilient and Empathetic that my husband, Michael has cerebral palsy. Before we were married, his mother told me a story about Michael coming in the house one day, upset because some children had been making fun of him.

She took him to a full-length mirror and stood in front of it with him. They looked at their reflections together and my mother-in-law said, “Look at yourself. That’s your body and it’s beautiful.”

That story stayed with me and prompted me to write this “gift” for her. My husband, a motivational speaker, often uses it to close his speeches and I have plans to convert it into a book. But I will take it out here, in honor of Mother’s Day, to share with you – especially if you have a child with a disability.

A PERFECTLY BEAUTIFUL SON

A little boy was feeling sad. He had been born with a disability that made him walk, talk, and move differently from other children. The little boy was sad because some of the kids in the neighborhood had been making fun of him. His mother took him by the hand and led him to the full-length mirror she kept in her bedroom.

“I’m crippled and useless. The kids say I am.”

“You’re my perfectly beautiful son.”

“Mommy, how can you say that when you know how I look?”

“You’re my perfectly beautiful son. You look like your daddy. You’re lucky, my pet. He’s handsome and strong. Can’t you see? You belong. Be proud, my beautiful son.”

“My feet drag on the ground. I fall down all the time.”

“You’re my perfectly beautiful son. And when you fall down, you get right back up. You’ve never stayed down and I know you won’t now. Get up, my beautiful son.”

“My hands always shake. I spill everything.”

“You’re my perfectly beautiful son. And when your hands shake, I will hold them in mine. It will steady us both – not just you, but me, too. Hold tight, my beautiful son.”

“My speech comes out funny. People can’t understand.”

“You’re my perfectly beautiful son. And when I hear you speak, I hear magical sounds. The words are so clear and their meanings so dear. Speak out, my beautiful son.”

“People think that I’m weak just because I’m so small.”

“You’re my perfectly beautiful son. And your heart’s grown so strong, how could you be weak? To me you’re so mighty, sometimes I can’t speak. Stand tall, my beautiful son.”

“The kids have been saying I’ll end up alone.”

“You’re my perfectly beautiful son. You have so much to give and a great life to live. And when the day comes that a girl sees this, too, I’ll love her so much – but not like I love you. But I’ll love her to pieces and I’ll shout to the world, “My son’s found his true love! What a perfectly beautiful girl.”

Happy Mother’s Day.

Patricia Aronin - Baltimore Family Examiner

Posted:  Ask Marion – Marion’s Place

Related Articles: 

• Mother's Day
  
• Traditional parenting 'leads to well-adjusted children'
  
• Adoption and Social Styles
  

Mother’s Day

One of Life's Great Miracles 

by Alexander Green

Today I'd like to say a few words about an enormously important group of people.

Pastor John S.C. Abbott said they have "as powerful an influence over the welfare of future generations as all other earthly causes combined."

Historian Will Durant called them nothing less than "the nucleus of civilization."

A Jewish proverb tells us that God created them because He couldn't be everywhere.

I'm talking, of course, about mothers.

Consider yours. Without her, you wouldn't be sitting here. But biology is the least of it, really!!

We would not have survived - not any of us - had we not been deeply loved and cared for in the first years of life.

Your mother is almost certainly your first memory. Yet even before memories, her voice created your first sense of security, her touch your first experience of affection, her constant care and attention the impression that we live in an idyllic world of limitless compassion.

We don't, of course, but isn't it a beautiful way to start?

Your mother was your earliest teacher, your strongest advocate, your first love. And as you grew, so did her sacrifices.

When you got sick, she took care of you. When you got in trouble, she took up for you. When you had some place to go ... she took you.

As one of four boys, I grew up convinced that my mother's mission on earth was to be a cook, maid, nurse, counselor, referee and, of course, chauffer. (Peter DeVries once described a mother as someone whose role is "to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car for ever after.")

In a large household, of course, a mother's work is never really done. Friends, however, would sometimes remind my Mom how fortunate she was to have five strong men around to help out. Hmmm...

I remember the time a neighbor dropped by during the playoffs. "Hey," he said looking at the five of us draped across the furniture, "how come all you guys are in here watching the game and your Mom is out front mowing the lawn?"

"I dunno," I remember saying. "I think she likes it."

How's that for appreciation?

In our home, my Mom ran everything, organized everything, remembered everything and, it's embarrassing to recall, didalmost everything that needed doing, too.

To top it off, she made - and still makes - a vegetable soup that is nothing short of spectacular. I don't mean it's tasty. I mean it isambrosia.

(If you're skeptical that anything truly stunning can be done with vegetable soup, it only means you've never tasted hers. No one who has would ever contest the claim.)

A mother's influence is hard to overstate. In many ways, it is incalculable.

Her love - the strongest, blindest and most exquisite - is neither acquired nor deserved. Nor can it ever be fully acknowledged.

Former U.S. Poet Laureate Billy Collins captures this sentiment beautifully in one of his poems:

The Lanyard 
The other day as I was riocheting slowly 
off the pale blue walls of this room, 
bouncing from typewriter to piano, 
from bookshelf to an envelope lying on the floor, 
I found myself in the L section of the dictionary 
where my eyes fell upon the word lanyard.

No cookie nibbled by a French novelist 
could send one more suddenly into the past-- 
a past where I sat at a workbench at a camp 
by a deep Adirondack lake 
learning how to braid thin plastic strips 
into a lanyard, a gift for my mother.

I had never seen anyone use a lanyard 
or wear one, if that's what you did with them, 
but that did not keep me from crossing 
strand over strand again and again 
until I had made a boxy 
red and white lanyard for my mother. 
She gave me life and milk from her breasts, 
and I gave her a lanyard. 
She nursed me in many a sickroom, 
lifted teaspoons of medicine to my lips, 
set cold face-cloths on my forehead, 
and then led me out into the airy light 
and taught me to walk and swim, 
and I, in turn, presented her with a lanyard. 
Here are thousands of meals, she said, 
and here is clothing and a good education. 
And her is your lanyard, I replied, 
which I made with a little help from a counselor.

Here is a breathing body and a beating heart, 
strong legs, bones and teeth, 
and two clear eyes to read the world, she whispered, 
and here, I said, is the lanyard I made at camp. 
And here, I wish to say to her now, 
is a smaller gift--not the archaic truth

that you can never repay your mother, 
but the rueful admission that when she took 
the two-tone lanyard from my hands, 
I was as sure as a boy could be 
that this useless, worthless thing I wove 
out of boredom would be enough to make us even.

Why am I sharing this?

This weekend you have the opportunity to honor the person whose place no one else can take, the woman to whom you owe your very existence.

And let us remember, your mother may not be the person who biologically delivered you.  Your “real mother” may be an adoptive mother, a step-mother, a foster mother, or another female friend, relative or guardian who took that role… and you know who she is.  She is your mom.

Perhaps she deserves not a card, a phone call, or a box of chocolates, but an expression of genuine gratitude.

If she is around, cherish her. If she is not, cherish her memory.

Before you were conceived, she wanted you, even if she is your adoptive mother. From the moment she knew you were coming, she loved you. When you came into her life, she was willing to sacrifice everything for you.

Is this not one of life's great miracles?

Carpe Diem, Alex

United States Mother’s Day

Early "Mother's Day" was mostly marked by women's peace groups. A common early activity was the meeting of groups of mothers whose sons had fought or died on opposite sides of the American Civil War. In New York City, Julia Ward Howards led a "Mother's Day" anti-war observance in 1872, which was accompanied by a Mother's Day Proclamation. The observance continued in Boston for about ten years under Howe's personal sponsorship, then died out.

Several years later, a Mother's Day observance on May 13, 1877 was held in Albion, Michigan, over a dispute related to the temperance movement the second Sunday of the month. According to local legend, Albion pioneer, Juliet Calhoun Blakeley, stepped up to complete the sermon of the Rev. Myron Daughterty, who was distraught because an anti-temperance group had forced his son and two other temperance advocates to spend the night in a saloon and become publicly drunk. In the pulpit, Blakeley called on other mothers to join her. Blakeley's two sons, both traveling salesmen, were so moved that they vowed to return each year to pay tribute to her and embarked on a campaign to urge their business contacts to do likewise. At their urging, in the early 1880s, the Methodist Episcopal Church in Albion set aside the second Sunday in May to recognize the special contributions of mothers.

Frank E. Hering, President of the Fraternal Order of Eagles, made the first known public plea for "a national day to honor our mothers" in 1904.

In its present form, Mother's Day was established by Anna Marie Jarvis, following the death of her mother on May 9, 1905; she campaigned to establish Mother's Day as a U.S. national, and later an international, holiday.

Originally the Andrew's Methodist Episcopal Church, the site of the original Mother's Day commemoration, where Anna handed out carnations, the International Mother's Day Shrine is now a National Historic Landmark. From there, the custom caught on—spreading eventually to 46 states. The holiday was declared officially by some states as early as 1912, beginning with West Virginia. On May 8, 1914, the U.S. Congress passed a law designating the second Sunday in May as Mother's Day and requesting a proclamation. On May 9, 1914, President Woodrow Wilson made that proclamation, declaring the first national Mother's Day, as a day for American citizens to show the flag in honor of those mothers whose sons had died in war.

Carnations have come to represent Mother's Day, since they were delivered at one of its first celebrations by its founder. This also started the custom of wearing a carnation on Mother's Day. The founder, Anna Jarvis, chose the carnation because it was the favorite flower of her mother. In part due to the shortage of white carnations, and in part due to the efforts to expand the sales of more types of flowers in Mother's Day, the florists promoted wearing a red carnation if your mother was living, and a white one if was dead; this was tirelessly promoted until it made its way into the popular observations at churches.

In May 2008, the US House of Representatives voted twice on a resolution commemorating Mother's Day, the first one being unanimous so that all congressmen would be on record showing support for Mother's Day.

Happy Mother’s Day~~

Related Articles: 

• Mother's Day Part Two
  
• Traditional parenting 'leads to well-adjusted children'
  
• Adoption and Social Styles