Rare Set of Mono Mono Twins Hold Hands in Delivery Room

The Little Girls Holding Hands…

ABCNews: One Ohio mom got a very special present for Mother's Day, when her identical twin girls were born holding hands.

Sarah Thistlewaite's daughters, Jenna and Jillian, are a rare set of monoamniotic or "mono mono" identical twins, which means they shared an amniotic sack and were in constant contact during the pregnancy.

The condition also meant that Thistlewaite had to remain on bed rest for weeks at Akron General Medical Center in Akron, Ohio. The twins had to be constantly monitored for nearly two months, since mono mono twins can easily become entangled in each other's umbilical cords.

"It's really mentally challenging. It's a very tough experience to go through," Thistlewaite told ABC News.

Thistlewaite, who also has a 15-month-old son, had to check into the hospital for nearly two months so doctors could carefully monitor the babies.

"They hook you up to heart rate monitors to watch for heart deceleration or variables," Thistlewaite said. "That's what they look for the whole time. I got ultrasounds every other week."

Thankfully for Thistlewaite and her husband Bill, their daughters were born healthy at 33 weeks this past Friday. Doctors planned a Caesarian section because if the twins grew too large, they would be at greater risk for entanglement.

As the girls were born, doctors held them up over a sheet so that Thistlewaite and her husband could see them. The newborns were holding hands.

"I didn't think they would come out and instantly be holding hands. It was overwhelming. I can't even put into words," Thistlewaite said. "There wasn't a dry eye in the whole OR."

Although the girls were born healthy, Thistlewaite said Saturday they had some breathing problems, so they were moved to the neonatal unit at Akron Children's Hospital. Today Thistlewaite will get to celebrate Mother's Day by introducing her daughters to their older brother for the first time.

"It's the first time that we'll all be together in one room," Thistlewaite said.

Technorati Tags: Mono Mono Twins,Twins,Babies,Birth,Mother's Day,Holidays,Joy,Cuteness,Monoamniotic

Salute to the ‘Other Mothers’… On This 100th Anniversary of Mothers Day

On the 100th Anniversary of Mother’s Day

Mother's Day is a celebration honoring mothers and motherhood, maternal bonds, and the influence of mothers in society. It is celebrated on various days in many parts of the world, most commonly in spring… In the United States the celebration of Mother's Day began in the early 20th century; it is not related to the many celebrations of mothers and motherhood that have occurred throughout the world over thousands of years.  The modern American holiday of Mother's Day was first celebrated in 1908, when Anna Jarvis held a memorial for her mother in Grafton, West Virginia. Her campaign to make "Mother's Day" a recognized holiday in the United States began in 1905, the year her beloved mother, Ann Reeves Jarvis, died.  In 1912, Anna Jarvis trademarked the phrases "second Sunday in May" and "Mother's Day", and created the Mother's Day International Association. It was officially declared a holiday by President Woodrow Wilson in his 1914 presidential proclamation and by the U.S. Congress in relevant related bills.

“All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel Mother."  …Abraham Lincoln

I would like to dedicate this piece to all the ‘other mom’s out there… the adoptive moms, the stepmoms, the foster moms, the grandmothers, the aunts, older sisters and the God-mothers who stepped in, stepped up to help and in many cases took over the role of ‘Mother’ for many many children, but are later far too often forgotten, neglected, taken for granted and even shunned when the absentee moms or their families suddenly step back into the children’s lives that they abandoned… After those heroes the adoptive moms, the stepmoms, the foster moms, the grandmothers, the aunts, the sisters and the God-mothers stepped in and did their jobs, gave their children more and very often loved their children more than they ever considered, wanted to give or had to give, they too often then swoop in play on the heartstrings of the children who felt abandoned and benefit from the love of the people who nurtured their children. 

Anyone can be a Mother or Father… it is just a biological process. Not everyone can be a loving and nurturing Mom or Dad!  We all have a birth or natural mom somewhere and more women than not are natural or birth mothers; most making the transition to be a loving ‘mom’, but it is not until you walk in the shoes of an adoptive mom, a stepmom, a foster moms, or a grandmother, aunt, older sister or God-mother who had to take on the full mother role for someone else that you can understand that true dynamic.

It is easy to step in later, when the work is done and the bonds are forged, to fulfill ones own needs at the expense of the emotional well-being of the children left behind and the women who gave their all, including their hearts to those children when it was needed most.

I am a daughter, a sister, a niece, was a very involved aunt and have had the unique privilege of being a mom… a  stepmother to 3-children under 2-separate circumstances as well as being an adoptive mom.  I worked for one of the top children’s facilities in the country and have seen it all… the kind of ugly that nobody wants to think about and a few miracles along the way.  And I also have friends who are adoptive moms of kids that know and don’t know they are adopted, that are stepmoms under a myriad of circumstances, a few amazing foster parents, some family members who raised family members and some kids that came out of all those types of situations.  And I know some birth family members and birth mothers who made all the wrong and unfair decisions over and over again as well as step-families who never got it.  For me personally, It has been an honor, a source of endless frustration, the greatest joy in my life and the most heart-wrenching pain in my life to fill the various rolls of motherhood. 

Here are few letters from daughters:

From ‘Annie’s Mailbox’:

To a one-in-a-million Mom, to you, dear lady, for all the dreams you dreamed for us. Not one of us became the ballerina or vocalist or pianist or doctor or lawyer you were hoping for. The boys didn’t become millionaires, and the girls didn’t learn to speak six languages. Instead we are the children who forgot to say “thank you” when it probably would have meant a lot to you. We are the ones who talked when we should have listened. We are the little tykes who woke you before dawn to serve you the breakfast-in-bed birthday special: burnt toast, weak tea, unscrambled eggs and half-raw bacon swimming in grease. We gathered around your bed and sang “Happy Birthday, Dear Mommy.” You pretended to be thrilled and tried your darnedest to eat the mess we brought to your bed.

Our childhood is over, and here are the “thank-yous,” many years overdue. Thank you for being there when we needed you. Thanks for being our tower of strength when you needed support yourself. Thank you for believing in us when we had trouble believing in ourselves. Thank you for saying what we needed to hear and for knowing when silence meant more than words. Your wisdom seemed to come from a place that none of us could ever figure out. Thank you, Mom, for allowing us to dream our own dreams, even though your dreams were more glamorous. And thank you, too, for never letting on when we disappointed you.

Most of all, Mom, thank you for giving us the room we needed to grow and the freedom to learn from our own mistakes. We hope we can do half as well with our kids. — YOUR LOVING CHILDREN

Sent directly to Ask Marion:

I was adopted, but never knew it, until by birth mother showed up at our doorstep.  It was  a closed adoption and I never had a clue.  My adoptive parents and family were my family (still are) and I always felt like I was the luckiest kid there was, having such a great family and so many opportunities.  There was nothing that my parents didn’t or wouldn’t do for me and with me, yet they were strict; they instilled all the important values in me.

My life was turned upside down and it took years to recover from the selfish disruption caused by my birth or so-called real mother.  I was depressed for years and it almost destroyed my adoptive mom.  I chose never to see my birth mother again after that visit, but life was never quite the same, never as good, never as normal.  My adoptive parents and family are my family, my real parents, not the women who upended my life twice.  I only hope that I did not inherit her selfishness!  -- YOUR LOVING REAL DAUGHTER IN NEW YORK

Journal Standard:

Every Mother’s Day, I think of how often the amazing love that can be conferred by stepmothers is ignored on this day. When I was very little, my biological mother passed away. A few years later, my father married a wonderful woman who helped raise me. People often asked me whether she was my real mom. I always answered “yes.” We shared real smiles, had real fights and have real memories. She also put forward an enormous effort to make sure I maintained the cherished relationship I had with my biological mother’s family.  

These women are there, attending our games and dance recitals. They are there when we need a shoulder to cry on. And they are there to pick us up when we fall. They may not have given birth to us, but they are real mothers. — A REAL DAUGHTER IN NEBRASKA

Sent directly to Ask Marion:

My sister and I were in and out of group homes, with some incremental stops back with our parents, for years.  The short times back home were always bittersweet.  We knew they were temporary and even the short stays were like riding a roller coaster.  Then came my foster mom… foster parents.  They took my sister and I in and we have been part of their family every since and will be for the rest of our lives.  They cared about us and we grew to love each other.  We finally had a stable family; people we could depend on and a home.  -- GRATEFUL DAUGHTERS WHO LOVE YOU IN CALIFORNIA

Sent Directly to THITW:

My parents were teenagers when I was born.  My grandmother was fun but, to be honest she and her husband were flakes. Ultimately I was adopted through a family adoption.  The agreement was that it be a closed adoption; I was only 15-months old and apparently had no bonding with my birth mother who was not with my natural father. And from what I hear I spent a lot of time with the relatives that would be my mom and dad and, I never asked about my birth mother once after going to live with them as my permanent family.  At age 19 the rug was pulled out from under me when an uncle under pressure from my birth mother and her father told me I was adopted, with no advance warning or preparation.  I had led a storybook life, had everyone in my life as part of the family and, I had no inkling that I was adopted.

My birth mother and birth grandfather along with an idiot uncle destroyed my life.  I went off the deep end, destroying my relationship with the parents who really loved me and It ultimately killed my adoptive mother due to a deep and prolonged depression.  I was a fool and I would ask everyone who is lucky enough to have someone adopt your child and give you a second chance to start over to think twice about disrupting the lives of your child who has a good home and normal life as well as the life of the women (parents) who took on your responsibility, your place, and your job.

Ask yourself… why do you deserve to ruin your child’s life twice as well as the life of the women, the family, that gave both you and your child a fresh start, probably better than you ever could have, and destroy their home, their sanity and their family just to fill some hole or need within you.  Haven’t they already given you enough?  --FROM YOUR LOVING DAUGHTER WHO WILL ALWAYS BE SORRY FOR MY HESITATION! I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU DEARLY IN OKLAHOMA

Sent Directly to Ask Marion:

I want to thank my Aunt and Grandma who raised me, loved me and were always there for me.  I never missed not having my mom; they filled every void.  I DO miss that I never knew her since she died in child birth giving me life, for which I will be eternally grateful.  --YOUR GIRL FOREVER IN IDAHO

So please… remember the moms… the women who raised you, who loved you and who were there for you.  That is the true definition of a Mother… a Mom and Motherhood.  Call them today and every Mother’s Day! 

Related:

Animal Moms – Happy Mother’s Day 2014 

Sarah Palin's Views on Hillary Clinton (Becoming a Grandma), Donald Sterling and More!  

School Nixes Mother’s Day and Father’s Day for More Inclusive ‘International Day of Families’ (2013)

10 Top Reasons to Adopt A Pet On Mother’s Day… Or Any Other Day 

Mother’s Day 

Mother’s Day Part 2 – A View From Different Perspectives 

Rare Set of ‘Mono Mono’ Twin Girls Enter World Together In ‘Beautiful’ Way: Holding Hands 

Mom's emotional health during child's early years linked to teen's oral health

Technorati Tags: Holidays,Mother's Day,Mothers,Grandmothers,Stepmothers,Adoptive Mothers,Foster Mothers,Gratitude,Parenting,Anniversaries,Pet Mothers,Children,Furkids,Animal Moms,Love,Aunts,God Mothers,Thank-Yous,Bonding,The Forgotten,Remembering,Great-Grandmothers

Book Review and Giveaway: Make Your Worrier a Warrior by Dan Peters, PhD

Raising Asperger's Kids:  Dealing with your fear of fear. That is how I always describe the boys' need to worry. Of course the doctors call it generalized anxiety disorder or even the anxiety that goes hand in glove with autism. This drive that something is never perfect or that something in our life is wrong or could be better if only...if only, but you don't know what that only is. The  catastrophizing about your reality. Worrying that the most awful things will happen, even if there are no realistic basis for the worry. Allowing this worry to prevent you from having a happy and enjoyable life.

Anxiety is the monster that attacks us in our brains and in our every waking hour It is the monster that hides in the recesses of our  minds and prevents us from living life. As parents it is hard to watch your child deal with anxiety. It is hard to not know how to help them. It is hard to not understand what is going on inside their head. Anxiety is a complex pattern of thoughts and ideas that just seem, seem seem to be on the otherside of a divide that we cannot get ahold of.

Well here comes some help. Dr. Peters breaks everything down for us in a matter of fact way that makes it very understandable in his book Make Your Worrier a Warrior: A Guide to Conquering Your Child's Fears.  He teaches us the basics and gives us useable information on how to help our children and even ourselves. He breaks down the types of fears and anxiety you might encounter and then goes about telling you how to handle them. He gives you practical advice. He also acknowledges that debilitating anxiety isn't something that just happens in a vacuum. That dealing with anxiety you may also have to deal with other mental health or learning disabilities as well. He talks about a convergence of ideas that incorporates all aspects of your child. He discusses how to get your child's (or even your) village on board with a treatment plan. (As anyone who reads this blog knows, I am a big fan of the concept of "village" to help your child. You cannot do this alone and neither should you have to. It is NOT a matter of weakness, but of understanding that at times you do and are entitled to seek help for yourself and/or your child.)

What is equally important is that Dr. Peters, unlike many other authors,  doesn't stop with the parents. He writes a companion book for children, From Worrier to Warrior.  Using the same methodology that he does in the parent's book, he tells children about the "worry monster" and what it means. He explains through vignettes how there are other children who feel like they do. In the end he gives your child advice and understanding on how to help themselves.  Of course if you do buy these companion books for younger children you would simply want to pick out the applicable stories to your child and their situation. In fact, I would say reading the stories together goes along way in helping and supporting your child.

Note: This book is not really for younger elementary school children. It is definitely too much information for a young child to process. The book is also for independent learners. Even if your child is a tween or adolescent, it is not a bad thing to read it together if that is what it takes for them to synthesize the information.

Actually remember that these two books are meant to be read together. I would say its akin to a family therapy session. I would coordinate the chapters in the two books so that after each one is read you could sit down with your child and help them process what they have just learned. Discussions could also be helpful for you to see just how your child views themselves in relationship to their worry monster. My personal opinion is that these books are helpful for any family dealing with anxiety issues. It is definitely a good place to start.
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Here's something new and fun for me:  in conjunction with Mother's Day, which here in the USA, is May 11, I will be doing a giveaway of these companion books. Please leave me a comment about what you think of the book review above along with your email address so I can contact you once a winner has been randomly chosen. The contest runs from today until May 1, since I would like to send the books out to the winner before Mother's Day.

There are several rules: (1) only ONE entry per person and; (2) since this is my first contest I am going to limit it to those people who live in the USA (sorry to my foreign readers); (3) If you are going to do a critique of my writing be kind, and (4) FYI the caveats. If the comment doesn't fit into the prescribed rules, it doesn't get published and you are not entered. Go to Raising Asperger’s Kids to comment and enter.

Good luck,

Elise

Technorati Tags: Anxiety,ASD,Autism,Book Review,Depression,Generalized Anxiety Disorder,OCD,Contest,Solutions,Disabilities,Mother's Day,Asperger's

Mother's Day: 4 Gifts That Last Longer Than Just One Day

Mother's Day: 4 Gifts That Last Longer Than Just One Day (ABC News)

Forget flowers and spa treatments. The stuff moms really want can't be bought.

"What they really want is to be less stressed," said Bruce Feiler, a family expert and author of best seller "The Secrets of Happy Families: Improve Your Mornings, Rethink Family Dinner, Fight Smarter, Go Out and Play, and Much More."

Feiler knows the perfect gifts that promise to give mom the ultimate stress relief - relief that lasts a lot longer than just a day.

Here are four ways to make mom happier:

1) Tackle the hardest part of the day - de-stress mom's morning

"You stop any mom on the street and ask them what's the worst time of the day, they're going to say the morning," Feiler said.

Researchers have found that the highest stress times in families occur in moments of transition. The hour after everybody wakes up in the morning and the hour after everyone comes home in the evening are particularly vulnerable, according to Feiler.

Feiler recommends these additional tips:

Create a morning checklist where kids are responsible for checking off their own obligations.

Choose alternate weeks where different members of the family play "morning captain."

Assign days of the week where children either prepare breakfast or serve as sous chef for a parent.

Besides reducing parental yelling, you'll help your kids. Children who plan their own schedules and evaluate their own work build up their brains and learn to take more responsibility.

Feiler suggested transferring responsibilities to the kids, that way mom doesn't have to nag them to keep on schedule.

"You can assign a child certain days of the week where they are the captains of the morning, so it is their job to actually monitor everybody else to make sure they get the things done," he said.

2) Reduce sibling fights

Studies have shown siblings between the ages of 3 and 7 clash three and a half times per hour.

Feiler addressed this problem in his house with the help of a course from the team at the Harvard Negotiation Project.

Feiler implemented the following actions:

When problems erupt, we separate them to allow them to cool off.

Then we ask each party for three alternatives.

Usually, they insist theirs is the only option, but eventually, they relent. Then we bring them back together.

At that point, with so many options on the table, a solution usually arises fairly easily.

3) Spice up mom's date night

Instead of the usual dinner and a movie, steal an idea from Hollywood hit "500 Days of Summer" and try out karaoke night.

Feiler said if you want to improve your relationship, try something novel with your partner.

Here are some date night ideas:

Helen Fisher of Rutgers has observed that couples who participate in activities that are unusual or different.

Take an art class

Drive to a new part of town

Cook a new recipe and flood their system with the same chemicals as couples just falling in love.

4) Let her win every argument for a month

All families have conflict and those who control and manage that conflict can make their family happier.

"Tell your wife she can win every argument for a month, what that means is when you're getting it when you're disputing, whatever you're disputing, you get to the point and you say this is your month to win," Feiler said.

Here are some other tips:

Alternate who gets to win arguments every week. That way, just when a fight threatens to overwhelm an evening, the pre-assigned winner claims the prize and harmony is restored.

In honor of Mother's Day, why not extend Mom's week to a month. By then, Father's Day will be just around the corner, and maybe she'll return the favor.

Technorati Tags: Mother's Day,holidays,families,moms,destressing

Men for Women Now – Noreen Fraser Foundation

The day after Mother’s Day is Men for Women Now Day… A day to encourage all women to make their appointments for mammograms add pap smears.

Go to: http://www.noreenfraserfoundation.org/ and send someone you love a celebrity Mother’s Day Card and reminder.

The mission of the Noreen Fraser Foundation (NFF) is to raise funds for women’s cancer research. NFF supports translational cancer research aimed at developing new prevention methods, diagnostic tools and non-toxic therapies to treat women’s cancers. Our hope is that until there are CURES, women’s cancers will become manageable diseases controlled with targeted therapies that protect patients’ quality of life. The Noreen Fraser Foundation is a 501(c)(3) tax exempt organization