The Obama Administration’s Deserving Victims | National Review Online

The campus sexual-assault controversy is of liberal higher ed’s own making

National Review Online:

For decades, universities have nurtured the most lunatic forms of feminism, denying the biological differences between males and females, promoting the idea that Western civilization is endemically sexist, and encouraging in their students ever-more-delusional forms of victimhood. It is therefore deeply gratifying to see these same universities now impaled by the very ideology that they have so assiduously promoted.

The Obama administration has released the names of 55 colleges and universities that it is investigating over their sexual-assault policies, part of an accelerating campaign against universities for allegedly turning a blind eye to the purported epidemic of campus rape. The list is top-heavy with the elite of the elite — Harvard, Princeton, UC Berkeley, Swarthmore, Amherst, and Dartmouth, among others. A more deserving group of victims would be hard to find.

Parroting over 20 years worth of feminist propagandizing, the White House claims nearly 20 percent of female college undergraduates are sexually assaulted during their college years. To put that number in perspective: Detroit residents have been fleeing the city for years due to its infamous violent crime. And what constitutes an American urban crime wave? In 2012, Detroit’s combined rate for all four violent felonies that make up the FBI’s violent-crime index — murder, rape, robbery, and aggravated assault — was 2 percent. The rape rate was 0.05 percent. And yet, despite an alleged campus sexual-assault rate that is 400 times greater than Detroit’s, female applicants are beating down the doors of selective colleges in record numbers.

Harvard this year received over 34,000 applications, about half from females, for a freshman class of about 1,600; every other elite college was similarly swamped with female applicants. According to the White House Council on Women and Girls, “survivors” of the alleged campus sexual-assault epidemic “often” experience a lifetime of physical and mental infirmity that includes depression and post-traumatic stress syndrome. How could highly educated baby-boomer mothers, who have spent their maternal years fending off phantom risks to their children from pesticides and vaccines, suddenly send their daughters off to a crime scene of such magnitude, unmatched even in the most brutal African tribal wars? What happened to the Sisterhood? Shouldn’t it be warning its members and forming alternative structures for educating females? Instead, every year, millions of girls walk into this alleged maelstrom of violence like innocent lambs to slaughter. Even more puzzling, every year those same girls graduate from that cauldron of predation in ever more disproportionate numbers, and go on to lead highly lucrative careers.

It should not be necessary to tell a feminist that rape is the most violent crime — with the emphasis on crime – that a woman can experience, short of murder. The FBI’s Uniform Crime Reports list rape as the second most serious violent felony. If the campus feminists really believed that campuses are experiencing an epidemic of criminal sexual assault, they would demand that every campus sexual-assault allegation be brought in criminal court, where the assailant can be sentenced to years in prison if convicted. Instead, they favor secret proceedings before an increasingly byzantine set of campus tribunals made up of judicially clueless bureaucrats and professors whose most severe punishment is expulsion. Imagine if a stranger broke into a female’s dorm room at night and raped her at knifepoint. Would that case be taken to the campus Title IX gender-bias tribunal? Unlikely. If someone were merely robbing females of their iPads at gunpoint around the campus library, that case, too, though far less serious than rape, would most certainly be prosecuted criminally.

There are several reasons why no one is pushing to bring campus sexual-assault cases to court. It certainly helps that the procedures before college gender tribunals are egregiously stacked against defendants. The Obama administration recently recommended that campuses deny students facing sexual-assault charges the right to cross-examine their accuser, a trend already well underway on campuses across the country. It also wants campuses to use a flimsy preponderance-of-evidence standard for guilt, and to allow repeated proceedings against a student after an initial acquittal, as KC Johnson and Hans Bader have explained.

The campus sexual-assault tribunal also has a performative aspect: It dramatizes the patriarchy before a sympathetic audience of adults. “Our task is to give voice to the daily forms of violence we too often accept as inevitable,” a Harvard graduate student recently told the New York Times, describing her work protesting Harvard’s sexual-assault policies. The campus sexual revolution began with students’ demand to be free of any intrusive parietal oversight from college officials; now, in a bizarre turnaround, the children of that revolution want colleges to actually write rules for sex and police their enforcement. The colleges are only too happy to comply. In 2013, Yale came up with an embarrassingly graphic set of hypothetical sexual scenarios between gender-unidentifiable students, in an effort to delineate what constitutes permissible sex. One would have hoped that a world-class academic institution would have better things to do. Meanwhile, here is a message to girls: This is sex that we’re talking about, the very realm of the irrational and the uncontrolled. See Ovid’s Metamorphoses, Boccaccio’s Decameron, and Euripides’ The Bacchae (if those texts are still available at your school). Norms of chivalry, courtship, and modesty once tried to channel this primal drive; with those conventions now demolished as sexist, females (and males) are on their own — and often at sea. A highly legalistic definition of consent — the current desideratum of campus sex bureaucrats — is hardly a sufficient substitute for traditional social checks on the sexual instinct and will never be able to regulate the inexpressible and often conflicting emotions around intercourse.

But the main reason “survivors” don’t demand to bring their cases to criminal court is that they know that what they have experienced is something far more complex and compromised than criminal sexual assault, almost invariably involving mixed signals, ambiguity, and a large degree of voluntary behavior on their part.

Girls often drink themselves blotto both before and during parties precisely to lower their sexual inhibitions. The authors of campus-rape surveys discovered early on that when the students whom the pollsters deem rape victims are asked if they think they have been raped, the “victims” overwhelmingly respond in the negative. In the 1986 Ms. survey that sparked the campus-rape industry, 73 percent of respondents whom the study characterized as rape victims said that they hadn’t been raped when asked the question directly. Forty-two percent of these supposed victims had intercourse again with their alleged assailants.

The alleged campus-rape epidemic could be stopped overnight if women’s advocates sent a simple message to girls: Don’t get drunk and get into bed with a guy whom you barely know. Keep your clothes on and go home to your own bed at night. And most controversially: Demand that any boy court you long enough to reveal his character and his respect for yours before you even think about having sex with him. The feminist advocates are more interested in preserving the principle of male fault, however, than in protecting females from regretted sex. And so rather than sending an unequivocal message of personal empowerment and responsibility, they put the entire onus of sexual responsibility on males, treating females as the invariably helpless victims of the male libido.

The colleges under investigation by the Department of Education may have sustained a public-relations black eye, but sadly, they will suffer not the slightest drop in their endowments or enrollments. They will even continue to coddle their students’ melodramatic oppression fantasies. The Title IX investigations, triggered by student complaints, are premised on the preposterous conceit that colleges are creating so hostile an environment for females that those females are actually prevented from learning. Here’s how the colleges should respond:

“Are you kidding me? Get a grip. This is the most welcoming, safe, lavishly endowed community ever created in human history, where students with the desire to absorb wisdom can do so in leisure, surrounded by supportive faculty and well-meaning administrators. There are millions of girls in Asia who are studying ten hours a day to gain the privilege of learning on an American campus; if they were to come to this ‘hostile’ environment, they would seize every educational opportunity available to them.”

Instead, however, the colleges’ student-services deans and rape counselors, who live precisely for these moments of conflict, will grovel before their accusers and promise to make amends. The New York Times has been hawking an article from Columbia’s student newspaper that purported to expose the college’s inadequate response to sexual assault. The original article triggered campus protests against the administration and penitence from the grown-ups. What it mostly showed, however, was the hold of the gender-studies mentality on far too many students. The student journalists were outraged that the school’s sexual-assault policies refer to “rape” “euphemistically” as “non-consensual sexual intercourse,” and to alleged “rapists” as “respondents.” One “survivor” — “Natalie” (a pseudonym) — complains that a Title IX investigator used abbreviations in taking down her story, resulting in “holes” that made her account not “sound like a strong case” (it probably wasn’t) and keeping her “from having ownership over the retelling of her history with emotional and sexual violence.” Natalie had been in a “fragile state” from a previous “emotionally abusive relationship,” and promptly entered into another “‘destructive and unhealthy’ physical relationship” with another male that was “confusing at best.” That male, the article explained, “often forcefully pinned [Natalie’s] arms back against the mattress during sex; [she] would cry during and after they slept together. Not until months after their break up did Natalie recognize this as non-consensual intercourse.” If Natalie was unhappy with their sexual relationship, she would have been wise to have put an end to it. The Columbia student article provided no evidence of flawed assault policies, beyond the mere fact that the school did not issue guilty findings in Natalie’s case (which she did not fully cooperate with) and one other. The article did, however, reveal the chaotic state of campus couplings in the absence of any normative restraints on casual intercourse, a situation that will claim only female emotional victims.

While the legal risks regarding regretted sex are increasingly stacked against male students, it is hard to shed a tear for them, either. They may not be guilty of rape, but they are almost certainly guilty of taking full advantage of the sexual caravansary on campus, and of acting as brutishly as females will allow them to. Males are the main beneficiaries of no-commitment sex, for males and females are not equals on the sexual battlefield. While there may be few actual rape victims on college campuses, there are undoubtedly thousands of girls feeling confused, betrayed, and exploited by callous partners who are blind to their ambivalence and who leave their bed with no emotional pang whatsoever. If male students respond to the one-sided distribution of risk and responsibility by becoming sexual prudes, society will have suffered no loss whatsoever. But don’t count on the male libido to do anything so sane.

— Heather Mac Donald is a Thomas Smith Fellow at the Manhattan Institute and the author of The Burden of Bad Ideas: How Modern Intellectuals Misshape Our Society.

Technorati Tags: Victims,Obamaland,Libido,Sex,Sexual-Assault,Women,Girls,Students,College Students

The anti-bossy campaign is just the latest example of the Left’s obsession with gender, sex, and sexuality as a way of remaking society

The Razor: In America, it used to be that boys were boys and girls were girls, except for a handful of boys and girls who didn’t conform to the norm.  Boys were at the top of the heap; girls had a carefully carved out, limited sphere of influence and opportunities; and sexually non-conforming people were ignored or abused, depending on both their ability to blend in and their community’s ability to cope with their differences.  Both women and sexually non-conforming people were routinely denied equal treatment under the law.

The women’s lib and gay rights movements were originally sold as a way to ensure that women and gays (and, eventually, the whole LGBTQ spectrum) received equal treatment under the law.  That was originally understood to mean equal access to education, employment opportunities, and house; equal pay for equal work; and freedom from overt, violent discriminatory practices — and that was it.

Since then, equal treatment under the law has become a picayune, limited goal.  Instead, the Left is using gender and sexuality as a way to remake society entirely in opposition to heterosexual males, the ones who created Western society in the first place.

The latest push to remake society is the effort either to ban the word “bossy” or to turn it into an undiluted positive when the word is applied to girls.  This, of course, ignores the reality of bossy little girls.

Girls are bossy, something that comes about because they model themselves on their mothers.  Despite decades of Leftist marriage, gender, and sexuality rejiggering, for most children, Mom is the Big Boss in the house.  (Indeed, considering the soaring number of single moms, she’s the only boss in the house.)  The vast majority of little girls identify with mommy.  That’s a fact that no gender theory will ever change.  So if Mommy is bossy — as she has to be in order to run a household with children — then a little girl’s logical assumption is that, to be a grown woman in training, she too must be bossy.

And what about the claim that we’re all wrong to say it’s obnoxious when girls are bossy?  I couldn’t disagree more.  It’s incredibly obnoxious when girls are bossy.  What’s appropriate coming from a grown woman with responsibilities is profoundly irritating whether a 4-year-old lisps orders to her friends, a 10-year-old hollers imprecations at her brother, her a 15-year-old, in a strident whine, tells her parents what she wants them to do.  It’s obnoxious not because the 4, 10, and 15-year-old are female, but because they haven’t yet earned the right to boss anyone around.  The issue is age, not sex.

Even as the Leftist/Progressive/Democrat establishment seeks to make it so that every girl’s fecal matter is perceived as perfumed, the relentless attacks on boys never end.  Fortunately for me (’cause I’m lazy), I don’t have to go into detail on this topic because Matt Walsh has already done so, saying what I would say, only doing it better.

So let me just skip ahead to a discussion of the Left’s latest attack on America’s last bastion of masculinity:  the military.  The military used to be the place where you sent your boys to become men.  Now?  I don’t know.  The military is still overwhelmingly male, but the Obama administration, even though it cannot change the numbers, is doing its best to change its manly ethos.

Gays can openly serve now, which puts a great deal of pressure on young men.  While the Left will freely acknowledge that women shouldn’t have to shower with men who view them in a sexually predatory fashion, and that women in the military are at risk of becoming victims of violent sexual attacks from predatory men, the Left refuses to acknowledge that gay men can be equally predatory to other men.  (And lesbian women are often predators to other women.)  Under the new paradigm, shying away from showering with an aggressive gay man or lesbian woman isn’t logical self-preservation and respect for ones own sexual integrity; it is, instead, homophobic and the people holding such views must be re-educated and/or destroyed.  It’s an interesting social experiment, but a disastrous burden to place on an institution that has as its primary task combat training and preparation to fight off enemies of unspeakable savagery.

Placing women in combat is also a de-masculinizing effort (yes, it’s a neologism) on the Obama administration’s part.  Training standards will have to be lowered because it’s the extraordinarily rare woman who can compete head-on physically with men.  Men are bigger and stronger.  They have stronger bones and joints.  Their skin is tougher and has fewer nerves, meaning it’s less sensitive to pain.  They get less breathless.  They can pee standing up or into old water bottles, and they don’t have periods or get pregnant.  They are vulnerable to rape (see the above paragraph), but less vulnerable, especially because cultures other than America subscribe to the Red Army’s approach to despoiling conquered women.

The only way women can compete equally with men is to lower the standards for men.  This means that young men will not be challenging themselves as much.  To the extent many join the military because men need challenges, the military becomes less attractive.  Additionally, young men aren’t fools.  They know that women will create physical and emotional drags on a combat unit.  Only in the Ivory Tower, surrounded by theory, would people think that women with their different biology are identical to men for all purposes, including combat.

Having turned the military into a Progressive experiment for gays and women, now what do we do?  We bring transsexuals into the military.  Although the number of transsexuals in the military will of necessity be small (there aren’t that many around), I suspect the transsexual-infused military will be a different animal from what it currently is.  Libby, one of my wonderful commenters, found this interesting tidbit about transsexuals:

The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention report on suicide attempts among transgender and non-gender conforming adults (Jan.2014)  found that the while rate for suicide attempts in the general US adult population is about 4.6%, in transgender people, the rate is 41% (46% for trans men).

transsexuals are deeply, deeply unhappy people, who wear their own bodies like a painfully ill-fitting outfit.  I feel nothing but compassion for their anguish (an anguish that gender reassignment may do nothing to help).  Having said that, I am appalled that our president somehow thinks that the military will be the group therapy environment these troubled souls need.  He is using America’s front line defense against a dangerous world to normalize that which, statistically and biologically speaking, isn’t normal.*

There is nothing closer to who and what we are than are gender and sexual orientation.  A wise friend of mine thinks that Islam’s entire beef with the Western world is the fact that, as Westernism creeps into Muslim communities, women fight to leave the harem, the burqa, and the hijab.  All other insults to the religion are tolerable, except for the one that shakes up the relative values between men and women under Islam.

The Left understands this, but it heads in an opposite direction from Islam.  Rather than attacking women and gays to gain control over culture, it attacks heterosexual males.  This is why, beginning when they’re just little children, America’s males are systematically demeaned and insulted.  They are also deprived of opportunities to express their masculinity in positive ways and, instead, are reduced to expressing it through computer games, random violence, and perpetual dorm-style sloth and slobbery.  If you want to see the end of a sustained Leftist attack on men, you need only look to the American black community, where men have been rendered useless.  The government fulfills all the functions women need (shelter, food, health care, and child care), leaving the men responsible only for spread sperm.  No wonder, then, that black men have developed a culture focused on the size of their weapons (both of which, ironically, are tucked in the pants):  guns and penises.

_____________________________

*No, I’m not saying people on the LGBTQ spectrum are “perverts” or “sickos,” or that they should be ridiculed, humiliated, discriminated against, hanged, beaten, imprisoned, or anything else.  I don’t believe that.

What I do believe is that love and physical desire are a combination of mind, biology, and culture, and that, when it comes to consensual adult relationships, it’s my business to stay out of it.  When I look at people, I judge them on values other than their sex partners, values such as individual freedom versus government control, stable relationships versus promiscuity, hard work versus parasitism, kindness versus cruelty, etc..  I do, however, reserve the right to look down upon people if their choice of sex partner is their only value.

So, rather than sit in judgment on LGBTQs, what I’m trying to say is that non-heterosexual orientations are statistical anomalies and that it is impossible to build a culture around a biological statistical anomaly.  It won’t stick.

Technorati Tags: Society,Sex,Sexuality,Norms,Religion,Fundmental Transformation,Wake-Up

Did Oral Sex Cause Michael Douglas Cancer?

Actor, Michael Douglas, reveals to the Guardian that HPV, transmitted through oral sex, was responsible for his throat cancer

Xan Brooks' full interview: Michael Douglas on Liberace, Cannes, cancer and cunnilingus

James Ball: is Douglas right about cunnilingus cancer link?

Link to video: Behind the Candelabra: watch a world exclusive trailer

Michael Douglas – the star of Basic Instinct and Fatal Attraction – has revealed that his throat cancer was apparently caused by performing oral sex.

In a surprisingly frank interview with the Guardian, the actor, now winning plaudits in the Liberace biopic Behind the Candelabra, explained the background to a condition that was thought to be nearly fatal when diagnosed three years ago. Asked whether he now regretted his years of smoking and drinking, usually thought to be the cause of the disease, Douglas replied: "No. Because without wanting to get too specific, this particular cancer is caused by HPV [human papilloma virus], which actually comes about from cunnilingus."

Douglas, the husband of Catherine Zeta Jones, continued: "I did worry if the stress caused by my son's incarceration didn't help trigger it. But yeah, it's a sexually transmitted disease that causes cancer. And if you have it, cunnilingus is also the best cure for it."

The actor, now 68, was diagnosed with cancer in August 2010, following many months of oral discomfort. But a series of specialists missed the tumor and instead prescribed antibiotics. Douglas then went to see a friend's doctor in Montreal who looked inside his mouth using a tongue depressor.

"I will always remember the look on his face," Douglas has previously said. "He said: 'We need a biopsy.' There was a walnut-size tumor at the base of my tongue that no other doctor had seen."

Shortly afterwards he was diagnosed with stage four cancer, which is often terminal, and embarked on an intensive eight-week course of chemotherapy and radiation. He refused to use a feeding tube, despite his palate being burnt on account of the treatment, and so lost 20kg (45lb) on a liquids-only diet. "That's a rough ride. That can really take it out of you," he told the Guardian. "Plus the amount of chemo I was getting, it zaps all the good stuff too. It made me very weak."

The treatment worked and Douglas is now more than two years clear of cancer. He has check-ups every six months, he said, "and with this kind of cancer, 95% of the time it doesn't come back".

The cause of Douglas's cancer had long been assumed to be related to his tobacco habit, coupled with enthusiastic boozing. In 1992, he was hospitalized for an addiction which some at the time claimed to be sex. Douglas himself denied this and said he was in rehab for alcohol abuse. He has also spoken of recreational drug use.

HPV, the sexually transmitted virus best known as a cause of cervical and anal cancer and genital warts, is thought to be responsible for an increasing proportion of oral cancers.

Some suggest that changes in sexual behavior – a rise in oral sex in particular – are responsible. Such changes might be cultural, but could also be linked to fears about the safety of penetrative sex in the wake of the Aids epidemic.

Mahesh Kumar, a consultant head and neck surgeon in London, confirmed that the last decade has seen a dramatic rise in this form of cancer, particularly among younger sufferers. Recent studies of 1,316 patients with oral cancer found that 57% of them were HPV-16 positive.

"It has been established beyond reasonable doubt that the HPV type 16 is the causative agent in oropharyngeal cancer," said Kumar, who also testified to increased recovery rates among this kind of cancer sufferer. This would help explain why Douglas was given an 80% chance of survival, despite the advanced stage of his illness.

But Kumar expressed scepticism that Douglas's cancer was caused solely by HPV, and surprise at Douglas's assertion that cunnilingus could also help cure the condition. "Maybe he thinks that more exposure to the virus will boost his immune system. But medically, that just doesn't make sense."

Ann Robinson, a GP, expressed interest in how confirmation of this association would affect the rollout of the HPV vaccine, which is currently restricted in the UK. "My main priority with diagnosing a patient with oral cancer is to get them referred, as early intervention can be so crucial. Asking for a detailed sexual history would be inappropriate at that stage."

Douglas has two children, aged 10 and 12, with his second wife, Zeta Jones, as well as an older son, Cameron, from a previous marriage. In 2010, Cameron was sentenced to five years in prison for drugs possession and dealing, and a year later had his sentence extended until 2018 after he pleaded guilty to possessing drugs in prison.

HPV: the facts

• There are more than 100 variants of HPV (human papilloma virus). They appear in different parts of the body and manifest themselves in different ways – some cause warts, but most are symptomless.

• Some are spread by skin-to-skin contact, while others are typically spread during sex. When HPV is found in the mouth, it probably got there as a result of oral sex.

• HPV is common – if you're a sexually active adult, you've probably had it. By the age of 25, 90% of sexually active people will have been exposed to some form of genital HPV.

• Around 15 types of HPV are linked to increased cancer risk, but it can't be explicitly said to cause any particular cancers. It's a long-term risk factor: over years and decades the risk is increased, rather than overnight.

• It is calculated that between 25% and 35% of oral cancers are HPV-related – meaning that it seems to be involved in 1,500-2,000 diagnoses a year.

• Overall, HPV-related oral cancers are most common in heterosexual men in their 40s and 50s.

• Teenage girls in the UK and elsewhere are now vaccinated against HPV, which should in time both protect them from cervical cancers and – it's believed – future partners from HPV-related oral cancers.

Read Xan Brooks' full interview with Michael Douglas

Since Douglas gave his interview and this piece was originally posted, Michael Douglas has tried to walk back his comments, even though the Guardian claims they have the interview on video.  It is all sounding more and more like a lot of publicity hype for Behind the Candelabra.  The real question is:  Is there something worthwhile to discuss from all of this?

Related:

HPV Vaccine Dangers 

Why Use Vaccine for HPV When Green Tea Works? 

WHY IS THE GOVERNMENT NOW RECOMMENDING THE HPV VACCINE FOR BOYS? 

The Gardasil Timeline: A History of Corruption and Negative Reactions

Gardasil – If A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words, Then A Video Report, Or Two, Or Three, Or SEVEN… 

Katie Couric Reports on Serious Vaccine Safety Issues – Finally!!

Technorati Tags: HPV,Michael Douglas,health,Cancer,publicity,Hollywood,human papilloma virus,Liberace,Cannes,cunnilingus,oropharyngeal cancer,Catherine Zeta Jones,oral sex,movies,sex

Wife Allergic To Husband's Sperm

Now this is something I hadn't heard of before. And no, it's not a cooked, scientific mumbo-jumbo variation of "I-have-a-headache."  Boy meets Girl, they fall in love, make the Beast With Two Backs and instead of bliss and fireworks, this happens:

"I had this bizarre reaction," said Clara, who for privacy reasons did not want to use her real name. "I had burning and swelling and redness, which was very unusual. I thought I had contracted an STD [sexually transmitted disease]."

Horrified, she made an appointment with the gynecologist for testing and was nervous about having a "tricky conversation" with Jeff.

After several doctors' visits and hours of research online, the North Carolina couple finally got some answers, but it derailed their sex life and shook their marriage.

What she had was something called seminal plasma hypersensitivity, an allergic reaction to proteins in her husband's semen.

They tried condoms, but it didn't help, and treatment was expensive.so they just avoided sex.

"In a normal romantic relationship, you want to feel attractive to your partner and want to do things that make you feel sexy," Clara said. "I feel like we actually started to define ourselves -- minimizing things to avoid sex. Funny, I started thinking I wouldn't wear sexy underwear. ... What seemed like medical problems had bigger effects."

"It pretty much dramatically reduced our libido," Jeff said. "We really haven't had much sex at all for the last 10 months."

They didn't share their concerns with anyone.

"When your mom calls up and asks how's married life? ... It's something we've been facing privately," Clara said.

Jeff said they started feeling "isolated, like total weirdoes," wondering why this would happen to them. "The intimacy level drops dramatically -- all of a sudden instead of living with your new wife or husband, you are more like roommates."

Eventually they couldn't stand it any more, found a doctor who would take their insurance, and Clara was treated. This involved diluted injections of Jeff's love juice...and not in the fun way, but via syringe every 15-20 minutes over the course of two to three hours. Specialists in allergies refer to this as 'desensitizing', and happily it did the trick.

The doctor involved, Dr. Jonathan Bernstein is also a professor at University of Cincinnati, who specializes in allergies and immunology. According to him, this condition is extremely rare, but not unknown and probably affects an estimated 20,000 to 40,000 women in the U.S.

Who knew?

Technorati Tags: sperm,sex,allergies,seminal plasma hypersensitivity,semen

Mental Health Group Looks to Remove Stigma From Pedophilia… Really?

Mental Health Group Looks to Remove Stigma From Pedophilia

Fox News:  Originally Published August 24, 2011

A group of psychiatrists and other mental health professionals say it's time to change the way society views individuals who have physical attractions to children.

The organization, which calls itself B4U-Act, is lobbying for changes to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, or DSM, the guideline of standards on mental health that's put together by the American Psychiatric Association.

The group says its mission is to help pedophiles before they create a crisis, and to do so by offering a less critical view of the disorder.

"Stigmatizing and stereotyping minor-attracted people inflames the fears of minor-attracted people, mental health professionals and the public, without contributing to an understanding of minor-attracted people or the issue of child sexual abuse," reads the organization's website.

B4U-Act said that 38 individuals attended a symposium in Baltimore last week, including researchers from Harvard University, Johns Hopkins University and the universities of Illinois and Louisville. According to the group, which said to not endorse every point of view expressed, the speakers in attendance concluded that "minor-attracted" individuals are largely misunderstood and should not be criminalized even as their actions should be discouraged.

Speakers also argued that people who are sexually attracted to children should have input into the decision about how pedophilia is defined in the DSM, which they said is supposed to be a guide to promote “mental health vs. social control.”

Critics of the conference say it was a thinly veiled attempt to make children of any age sexually accessible to adults.

"Absolutely," Dr. Judith Reisman, a visiting professor of law at Liberty School of Law said. "Oh, they're very clear about that. Their goal is to take all shame out of the lust for children."

The American Psychiatric Association did not participate in the conference, and evidently does not condone the group's message.

"An adult who engages in sexual activity with a child is performing a criminal and immoral act and this is never considered normal or socially acceptable behavior," the APA wrote in a 2003 position statement.

Critics of the effort also note that the movement likens its fight for pedophilia acceptance to society's more recent embrace of homosexuality. They warn of a slippery slope to a time when pedophilia is "just another lifestyle choice" that won't warrant criminal charges—and will leave young children at risk.

Peter Sprigg, a senior fellow for policy studies at the Family Research Council, said, "I think that we have to face the fact that most of these people with pedophile attractions are going to come up against the law. The laws against sex abuse and the laws against child pornography. And those laws should be strictly enforced."

Fox News’ Shannon Bream contributed to this report.

Don't Pooh-Pooh the Left's Push to Normalize Pedophilia

Originally posted on January 07, 2013 at The Rush Limbaugh Show

BEGIN TRANSCRIPT

RUSH: We are loaded today, folks. You can't afford to miss a single syllable today. For example:

There is an effort underway to normalize pedophilia. Yep. And it has two aspects to it. One is that sex with children doesn't hurt them. Kids like it, and so do adults, and there's nothing wrong with it. It is something... I want to take you back. I want you to remember the first time, wherever you were, that you heard about gay marriage, and I want you to try to recall your reaction -- your first gut reaction -- when you heard that some activists or somebody was trying to promote the notion of gay marriage. What was your initial reaction?

"Aw, come on. It'll never happen. That's silly. What are you talking about?"

There is a movement on to normalize pedophilia, and I guarantee you your reaction to that is probably much the same as your reaction when you first heard about gay marriage. What has happened to gay marriage? It's become normal -- and in fact, with certain people in certain demographics it's the most important issue in terms of who they vote for. So don't pooh-pooh. There's a movement to normalize pedophilia. Don't pooh-pooh it. The people behind it are serious, and you know the left as well as I do. They glom onto something and they don't let go.

BREAK TRANSCRIPT

RUSH: It's right there. It's in the UK Guardian. "Pedophilia: Bringing Dark Desires to Light -- The Jimmy Savile scandal..." He's a presenter on the BBC. "The Jimmy Savile scandal," it says here, "caused public revulsion, but experts disagree about what causes pedophilia -- and even how much harm it causes." So "experts disagree about what causes pedophilia," and then they do interviews to make the case for pedophilia.

(interruption)

No, it's not a crime; it's love!

(interruption)

Yeah, there are statutes on the book.

The statutes are wrong. The statutes are from a bygone era where everybody's morality was wrong. Look, I’m just telling you what it says. They make the case that kids enjoy it, adults enjoy it; what's wrong with a little love? The same things that were said about gay marriage. Look at the Elmo story, the puppeteer at PBS. Three or four young people, kids, were hit on by that puppeteer. Look how little attention that story got. In fact, that story was laughed off. It wasn't a big deal at all.

BREAK TRANSCRIPT

RUSH: I'm not engaging in shock value. I'm not trying to shock you. I'm just telling you what's out there on this pedophilia business. I'll tell you where I first saw it. Wesley Smith, who is married to Debra Saunders. She's a San Francisco Chronicle columnist. He had a little blog post at the National Review website: "Is Pedophilia Just Another 'Sexual Orientation'?" I said, "What?" So I read it.

It was this piece that alerted me to the column, the piece about this in The Guardian, and that piece suggests that pedophilia may be just another sexual orientation. It's not perverted, it's not wrong, it's just another sexual orientation. And, in fact, it's quite loving and as natural as any other sexual orientation. This is what those of us with our heads and minds in the Dark Ages have got to modernize and realize.

The argument being made in the piece is that the desire for sex with children is a natural part of the human condition. And, in fact, if we acknowledge it, and encourage it, we can actually somehow better protect children. That's in the story, too. It's the same thinking, if you remember back in the nineties, when we were told that kids are going to have sex, you can't stop them. And that's why we needed to give away condoms in the schools.

Remember we had stories from Long Island about parents who said that they willingly let their daughters' boyfriends spend the night because it was better if their daughter was gonna have sex in a clean bedroom rather than the backseat of a car. Well, same thing here. We can better protect children if we know that they're having sex with adults rather than it being done on the sly.

If it's supervised, and if it's engaged in by loving people, then what's wrong with it? This is in the article. I just want to remind you, now, when you first heard about gay marriage -- and I don't mean to pick on gays. It's not what I'm saying. It's just something that was such a tremendous departure from accepted norms of the day. When you first heard about gay marriage, you pooh-poohed it.

When you first heard me say that the Sierra Club was gonna try to come after you and ban your SUV, what was your reaction? "Aw, come on, Rush! There you go again: Overreacting, exaggerating." Well, you know that the SUV has become a target. You know all about that. You know how much progress the notion of gay marriage has made. So I'm just keeping you here on the cutting edge.

In fact, the article in the Guardian actually quotes some academics. (For those of you in Rio Linda, that's college professor types. These are the people you see that have leather arm patches on their sport coats.) Academics are quoted in the Guardian piece saying that sex with adults does not hurt children. Normalization. So Jon Henley decided he'd write a whole piece on this, normalizing pedophilia, where he quotes extensively and looks into it and finds out what this is all about.

"Pedophilia: Bringing Dark Desires to Light," and it says, among other things (this article is loaded), "Pedophiles may be wired differently." There's nothing wrong with them. They're just "wired differently. ... But there is a growing conviction, notably in Canada, that pedophilia should probably be classified as a distinct sexual orientation, like heterosexuality or homosexuality. Two eminent researchers testified to that effect to a Canadian parliamentary commission last year, and the Harvard Mental Health Letter of July 2010 stated baldly that pedophilia 'is a sexual orientation' and therefore 'unlikely to change.'"

Can you imagine if Jerry Sandusky had had this information at his trial? What do you think the reaction would be to Jerry Sandusky's defense saying, "Hey, look, it's normal. The kids love it, he loved it, nobody was hurt. And in fact, it's just a different sexual orientation"? Now, what do you think's behind this? What kind of people do you think are behind this, this effort to normalize pedophilia? Which is what? The abuse of kids, is it not? Who's behind that?

What is their objective? They want us to all think that pedophilia is just another sexual orientation. You know who's gonna fall right in line is college kids, just like they have on gay marriage, just like they do on all other revolutionary social issues. Their own definition of the cutting edge, civil rights, freedom, understanding, tolerance. So I'm just warning you here. You think it can't happen. "Impossible! Don't be nutso and wacko on us, Rush."

I'm just asking you to remember all of the things that occur normally in our culture now that when you first heard about them you thought, "No way! That'll never happen; that'll never be mainstream," and now they are. Here is another one to add to the list. (interruption) You want more excerpts from this piece? "In 1976 the National Council for Civil Liberties, the respectable (and responsible) pressure group now known as Liberty, made a submission to parliament's criminal law revision committee.

"It caused barely a ripple. 'Childhood sexual experiences, willingly engaged in with an adult,' it read, 'result in no identifiable damage ... The real need is a change in the attitude which assumes that all cases of pedophilia result in lasting damage.'" So you see it's you who have to reorient your thinking. It's you who have to get rid of your bigotry. It's you that have to open up and become more tolerant. It is you judgmental people who think this is child abuse when it isn't.

You are the ones who are going to have to change. The pedophiles and the children involved, they're normal, just like you or anybody else. It is your old-fashioned conventions that create the problem. So another excerpt. "It is difficult today, after the public firestorm unleashed by revelations about Jimmy Savile [the presenter at BBC] and the host of child abuse allegations they have triggered, to imagine any mainstream group making anything like such a claim.

"But if it is shocking to realize how dramatically attitudes to pedophilia have changed in just three decades, it is even more surprising to discover how little agreement there is even now among those who are considered experts on the subject." Here is the money quote: "For Goode, though, broader, societal change is needed. 'Adult sexual attraction to children is part of the continuum of human sexuality; it's not something we can eliminate,' she says.

"'If we can talk about this rationally -- acknowledge that, yes, men do get sexually attracted to children, but no, they don't have to act on it -- we can maybe avoid the hysteria. We won't label pedophiles monsters; it won't be taboo to see and name what is happening in front of us.'" See? The only people who have to change are you who have these old-fashioned, Victorian-type attitudes. You're gonna have to open yourselves up to love and realize that wherever it happens, it's wonderful. No matter what.

Now, there were people -- I just want to remind you -- back during the early days of the effort to redefine what a family is, and in the early days of the gay marriage activists. There were people who said, "Well, if this becomes mainstream, then someday marrying your dog is gonna be okay, and then having two husbands and two wives in one family is gonna be okay, 'cause who can say it isn't?" There were others who predicted that pedophilia would be mainstream, and there was an outcry of opposition to this.

BREAK TRANSCRIPT

RUSH: By the way, the expert that I was quoting extensively from in the pedophilia story in the UK Guardian is Sarah Goode. She is a senior lecturer at the University of Winchester and is the author of two, count them, two major sociological studies on pedophilia in society in 2009, 2011. Hey, folks, look, I know it's uncomfortable. I'm just warning you, there's now an effort on to normalize it. It's safe for children. Controlled supervised, engaged in two loving people, it's actually safer for children this way.

I mean, it's the same rationale back in the nineties for giving away condoms. We can't stop it. Kids are going to have sex, so we want to make it as safe as we can. It's the same technique being used here.

BREAK TRANSCRIPT

RUSH: Now to the phones and Walter in Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida. I'm glad you waited, sir. Welcome to the EIB Network. Hello.

CALLER: Hi, Rush. I was really incensed earlier when you were talking about the business of pedophilia being entertained in England and possibly among the leftists in this society as giving it some kind of credibility. And every single civilization that I've ever studied about and every religion in this country teaches us over and over again about the destruction of civilization because of it. I mean, Greek history is one of the most egregious people who adapted as part of their culture the culture of the warrior and pedophilia. And it just absolutely amazed me that we live in this age where people have forgotten what happened with Sodom and Gomorrah, what Christ taught in his most profound thing, in anger, was about the hurting of little children. That he would put a millstone around them and cast them into the sea. And it's amazing that people have forgotten these warnings over 4,000 years and are willing to entertain this over and over again. I remember at BU, Boston University, where I studied, a [professor] told us that in the mid-sixties, that psychological association of the United States went from one person held off these aberrations and said that they were, you know, they were mental problems that needed to be directly dealt with from, you know, a clinical point of view, and when that person died, the American Psychological Association then began the slippery slope of allowing all these aberrations to --

RUSH: Let me ask you a question.

CALLER: Yes, sir.

RUSH: You say you've been studying this.

CALLER: Yes, sir.

RUSH: Before I mentioned this today, were you aware of the UK Guardian story? Were you aware of the effort that is quite a ways along now to normalize pedophilia?

CALLER: I didn't know that. I thought that they had --

RUSH: This is the point. You didn't know it, I didn't know it 'til I ran across the story, you didn't know it, and most other people don't know it, either, and this is why it succeeds. Most people don't have time for stuff like this. Most people aren't reading the UK Guardian; they're trying to get jobs. Or, as in the case of some, I got a New York Post story here: "Welfare Recipients Take Out Cash At Strip Clubs, Liquor Stores And X-Rated Shops." Welfare recipients are using the debit cards at these kinds of places, whatever, they're not paying any attention to pedophilia. So this stuff happens literally under the radar.

Now, if you're just joining us, the UK Guardian has a story today that essentially quotes a bunch of college academics who've studied it and said there's really nothing wrong with pedophilia. It's just another sexual orientation. In fact, it may be safer for children when it's engaged in knowingly and accepted. Children love it, the adults love it, and if there's love involved, what can be wrong? I'm not making this up. We'll link to the story at RushLimbaugh.com. You can read it yourself. I was made aware of it by a contributor at National Review, Wesley J. Smith.

Like I mentioned, try to imagine where you were the very first time you heard somebody seriously make the case for gay marriage and ask yourself what was your reaction. It was probably something like, "Right, that will never happen," and now here we are. Gay marriage and gay rights happen to be at the top of important issues for young voters ages 18 to 29. It is the number one most important issue to them, civil rights, freedom, tolerance, liberty, all that cool stuff when you're that young. Well, here we go with the same technique. It's safer. It's safer for children under these circumstances than if it's happening under the cover of darkness and behind the law. If it's happening under the shroud of illegality, then it has a stigma; but it really shouldn't, it's just another sexual orientation. It's a serious piece, a serious effort. And it's all about these people wishing to have their preferences and desires judged to be normal, not weird or perverted or what have you.

And even if you had heard about it, what are you gonna do? What are you gonna do about it? You might organize opposition to it. You might organize in California, a proposition, you put it on the ballot to oppose it and you win, and a federal judge will overturn it. Yeah, pedophilia, it's already against the law. What do you do to stop it? Who's gonna stop it? Do you think today's Democrat Party's gonna speak out against it? No. You won't have 'em advocating it, not yet, but that day's coming, if it follows the same progression as some of these other things you thought would never, ever happen and they are happening now in a mainstream way.

So that is what Walter here is reacting to, and he said that pedophilia, societies can't survive when stuff like this becomes normal. But you've got some official psychiatric groups that are endorsing it as normal. And the only thing wrong with pedophilia is the bigoted attitude towards it, is the point of the story in the UK Guardian, which is left wing, but it's not a fringe publication, it's a mainstream publication in Great Britain.

END TRANSCRIPT

Cross-Posted at AskMarion

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A Healthy and Fun Valentines Day

Some Sexy and Healthy Valentine’s Day Activities

Girls Night Out: Pole Dancing Class
A pole dancing class is a frisky way for friends to celebrate Valentine's Day together. It's a little intimidating to swing around a pole while also letting out your sexier side, but when doing it with a group of your favorite girlfriends, it becomes easier. Besides being a great excuse to get together, this dance-inspired workout will help you tap into your sensual side while also helping tone muscles, firm the body, and increase flexibility. Once class is over, head out together for a glass of heart-healthy wine.

Group Date: Salsa Dancing
If a perfect date night for you involves getting together with other couples, charge things up by going salsa dancing. Besides being an easy way to burn calories, salsa is like flirting on the dance floor. From the rhythmic Latin beats to all that hip shaking, things are guaranteed to get hot. Don't be afraid to switch things up during the night. It's almost expected that you'll dance with different partners while out for a night of salsa dancing.

For You and Him: Couples Massage . . .
If you're going the traditional route and spending Valentine's Day with that special someone, indulge by getting a couple's massage. It will help you both relax, offer relief from stress, and ease muscle soreness that comes from exercise or the demands of the day. From there, cook a healthy dinner together and don't forget to get physical — and not at the gym! Valentine's Day is a good excuse to be intimate with your partner, especially given all the health benefits of having sex.

Seems like you can't turn your head without gazing on a box of chocolates or other sweet treat this week. And let's not talk about that Valentine's Day tradition. But dipped strawberries gives you both… some healthy fruit along with the chocolaty treat!

h/t to fitsugar & Weight Watchers

Sex Rx for 5 Female Disorders

Sex is supposed to be fun. But what if you aren’t into it? Or worse yet, it’s painful? We’ll help you feel sexy again with these solutions to 5 common female sexual disorders. Plus, find out what’s lowering your libido with our quiz…

Does it seem like everyone’s enjoying sex except you? Well, you aren’t alone: 43% of women experience some type of sexual disorder, according to the 1992 U.S. National Health and Social Life Survey, considered by experts to be one of the most comprehensive reviews of sexual behavior in the U.S.

Whether your sex life has been derailed because of menopause, inhibition, anger or a physical problem, here are some ways to get the zing back:

1. Lack of Desire
He’s revved and raring to go, but you can’t even get in gear for a night of romping.

Not being in the mood is a common complaint among women and their partners, says sex researcher Beverly Whipple, Ph.D., R.N., professor emerita at Rutgers University.

“Men think their partner isn’t attracted to them anymore,” she says, but other reasons may be to blame.

Why it happens: Stress, exhaustion and spreading yourself too thin can wreck your sex life, says Stephanie Buehler, psychologist and director of the Buehler Institute (TheBuehlerInstitute.com) for sex therapy in Irvine, Calif.

So can a strict religious upbringing, fear of pregnancy and negative messages about sex in your head. A bad sexual experience and no emotional satisfaction in your relationship can also make you feel like a wet blanket in the bedroom.
“Lack of desire is probably the most complex sexual problem,” Buehler says. “And the causes are very individual.”

Even if your head and heart are in sync, physical conditions such as diabetes, fibromyalgia and hormonal imbalance (perhaps from thyroid disorders or menopause) can also throw your sex and love life for a loop.

That’s what derailed Leslie (identified by her first name only for privacy), 52, of Austin, Texas. She had a “super low libido” and vaginal dryness when she entered perimenopause.

“It literally felt like I was drying up like an old woman,” she says. “And that was not OK because I actually enjoyed sex and wanted to have as active a sex life as possible.”

Still, as her sex life declined, so did her 10-year marriage. It ended in divorce.

Finally, with hormone replacement therapy, Leslie got her sex life back on track. After a two-year break, she and her husband rekindled their relationship and remarried last February.

Sex Rx: So what’s the best way to ramp up your libido? It depends on the cause.

In pre-menopausal women, lack of desire is typically due to life circumstances, such as stress, lack of energy or fighting with your mate, says Elizabeth Houser, M.D., of the Urology Team in Austin, Texas, whose Web site, Wetmatters.com, deals with pelvic health.
Once you ID the cause, try these steps to put heat back between the sheets:

• Reduce stress and increase energy level. Maintaining a healthy diet, exercise and balance in your life can help ignite the fire within.
• Make time for sleepy sex. Try this suggestion from Seven Weeks to Better Sex (Westcom Press) by Domeena Renshaw, M.D., director of the Loyola University Health System Sex Clinic in Chicago.

  Pick a rendezvous night with your mate and set your alarm clock to ring 90 minutes after you go to bed, which takes advantage of the body’s first sleep cycle, when you should be at peak arousal. When the alarm goes off, take a shower together to refresh you, and then have sex, which will relax you and help you get back to sleep again.

  “You may be skeptical, but try it anyway and see what happens,” Renshaw says.

• • Look at your relationship. How much conflict do you have? Do you spend enough time together? Does he listen? Do you communicate with each other? Lack of desire could be a symptom of another relationshipproblem, Buehler says. Couples therapy can help address issues. So can restructuring your life so that your relationship is a priority, Houser says.
  • Get the bad thoughts out. Cognitive behavioral therapy, in which patients address negative beliefs and feelings, can help you examine your attitude about sex.
  • Expand your options. Sex isn’t just about inserting part A into part B. A woman may want a back rub or cuddling instead, Whipple says. “I encourage people to learn about different parts of the body and be aware of what they like – and to communicate to their partner what they find sensual.”

  2. Lack of Arousal
  “People associate arousal with vaginal lubrication,” Whipple says, but it’s more complicated than that.
  When women are aroused, more blood flows to the clitoris and its surrounding flesh, which stimulates fluids to seep through blood vessels into the vagina. It also causes the upper part of the vagina, uterus, cervix and clitoris to expand and swells the lower vagina and labia (the flesh at the opening of the vagina) so the vaginal opening shrinks. In other words, your body gets ready to receive a penis.
  When a woman isn’t aroused, the blood doesn’t flow and the process shuts down. “Women describe it as just being dead down there,” Houser says.
  Why it happens: Many of the same things that inhibit desire also tamp down arousal. “If your vagina is dry and uncomfortable, it isn’t going to feel any stimulation,” Whipple says.

• Often, it's because a woman can't let go of her worries and to-do list.

• “She can’t relax,” Houser says. “Or she really doesn’t like her husband. Or she is thinking about their kid’s soccer tournament.”

  Sex Rx: Water-based vaginal lubricants can help. Don’t use oil-based products, which can dissolve latex condoms and diaphragms, compromising your protection from a pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.

  If the vaginal dryness stems from a decrease in estrogen levels, hormone replacement therapy may help keep the vaginal lining plump and improve lubrication.
  Your doctor can prescribe estrogen in several forms, including cream, skin patch or an estrogen-dispensing ring or tablets, which are inserted into the vagina.

  Don’t use estrogen cream as a lubricant, Whipple cautions, because the body absorbs a small amount with each use and too much estrogen could be dangerous.

  And skip antihistamines. If they dry out your nose, they probably dry you out down under.

  Whipple also suggests ArginMax, a tested over-the-counter oral supplement (it contains the amino acid L-arginine) that may increase lubrication and satisfaction.

  3. Anorgasmia
  This is the inability for either sex to experience an orgasm, but the condition is far more common in women. In fact, only about 30% of women have orgasms from sexual intercourse, Whipple says.
  

• Why it happens: Medical problems such as diabetes, multiple sclerosis and gynecological cancers can interfere. So can antidepressants: 70-80% of women taking selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), a class of antidepressants, have a hard time peaking, Whipple says.

Check out 9 Drugs That Can Dampen Your Sex Drive.

But maybe you aren't feeling the fireworks because you don’t know how to have an orgasm or haven’t schooled your partner about your sweet spots.

Sex Rx: It’s time to explore your nether regions. “You'd be amazed at how many women don’t know what they look like,” Buehler says.
First, get out a hand mirror out and examine yourself.
Now let your fingers do the walking. Get used to touching your body in a non-sexual but pleasurable way. Give yourself a massage or take a warm bath or shower and explore your entire body to find out what feels good. When you’re comfortable, move your hands to your genitals.

Stimulating your clitoris, G-spot and even the cervix can bring on an orgasm. The trick is finding what works for you, Whipple says. For more tips, check out How to Find Your G-spot.

As you learn your sexual responses, have a show-and-tell with your partner so he can recreate the sensation.

“A lot of people give up too easily,” Buehler says. Because of socialization or fear, the ability to have an orgasm is shut down. “You have to reawaken the wiring.”

Having an orgasm is a skill. And practice makes perfect.

4. Vaginismus
This condition causes the pelvic floor muscles to spasm, essentially blocking a penis from entering the vagina.
How common is the disorder? That’s debatable, because many women don’t seek treatment or are misdiagnosed. At the Sexual Dysfunction Clinic at Loyola University in Chicago, the vaginismus incidence rate is 7%, Renshaw says.

Untreated, vaginismus can be long-term: Renshaw says she treated a woman who had the disorder for 23 years before she sought help.

Why it happens: Repeated yeast infections or urinary tract infections can cause the reflexive muscle reaction, but so can fear of sex, pregnancy or emotional trauma from past sexual abuse.

Sex Rx: If the condition has a physical cause, at-home exercises may reverse it. In Seven Weeks to Better Sex, Renshaw suggests the following exercises:

• Without your partner, lie down and get comfortable. Breathe slowly, opening your mouth when you exhale.
• Lubricate your finger with water-based lubricant or saliva and insert it into your vagina. Continue to breathe deeply. As you explore your vagina, you’ll feel it start to loosen.
• As if you're trying to stop the flow of urine, contract the muscles in the lower third of your vagina tightly around your finger. Relax and repeat to learn how to control the muscles.
• Repeat the exercises for five minutes, twice a day. Use one finger on the first two days. For the next two days, insert two fingers while breathing slowly and contracting your muscles.
• On the next two days, ask your partner to place one lubricated finger inside your vagina. Guide his finger and keep your mind focused on your sexual response.
• On the following two days, spend as much time on foreplay as you need to get aroused and then ask your partner to lie passively next to you.
• Straddle him and place his non-erect penis into your vagina. Contract and relax your muscles. You should feel your partner becoming erect without experiencing pain. If he is already aroused, you can insert his erect penis or slow things down until his erection subsides and try again. Allow yourself as much time as you need to feel comfortable at any stage of these exercises.

A physical therapist who specializes in pelvic floor biofeedback – a kind of training program that can help people regulate body functions – can teach a woman how to consciously relax her muscles.

A doctor also can prescribe vaginal dilators – a set of plastic or silicone dildos, graduated in size, that are inserted into the vagina by the woman or her partner for 10 minutes a few times a week leading up to intercourse. The dilators gradually stretch the vaginal skin.

5. Dyspareunia
Pain during and after intercourse makes sex unpleasant. Unfortunately, many women are too embarrassed to discuss the subject with their doctor and avoid the act altogether, Buehler says.

“There are couples who don’t consummate their marriage for years. If they’d come in sooner, they’d have a smaller problem to solve,” she says.

Sex is an important part of a long-term relationship or marriage, and its absence can threaten it.

Why it happens: Endometriosis (the growth of the uterine lining outside the uterus), vaginismus, urinary tract infections, a dry vagina or any combination of physical or psychological factors can cause dyspareunia.

Sex Rx: First, head to your doctor for a physical exam, blood work and a check of hormone levels. Once a physical problem is ruled out, physical and sex therapy can help.

After all, sexual disorders don’t involve only the genitals, Whipple says. “I view sexual disorders holistically. It's really important to evaluate the total person and not just one part.”

Remember, intercourse isn’t the only way to get sexual pleasure. Try alternatives, such as oral, manual and anal sex. Anything that feels good can provide satisfaction minus the pain.

An extra tip: If you suffer from unexplained pain, your doctor may prescribe the antidepressant amitriptyline (Elavil). In very low doses — one-tenth of the amount you would take for depression — it can ease pelvic pain.

Need more help? Visit the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists at www.aasect.org, and the Society for Sex Therapy and Research at www.sstarnet.org.
Get your own copy of Domeena Renshaw’s Seven Weeks to Better Sex.

What’s Lowering Your Libido?
Studies suggest that one third of women have lost interest in sex. How much do you know about what keeps your motor humming? Take our libido quiz and find out.

Check out Health Bistro for more healthy food for thought. See what Lifescript editors are talking about and get the skinny on latest news. Share it with your friends (it’s free to sign up!), and bookmark it so you don’t miss a single juicy post!

The information contained on www.lifescript.com (the "Site") is provided for informational purposes only and is not meant to substitute for advice from your doctor or healthcare professional. This information should not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem or disease, or prescribing any medication. Always seek the advice of a qualified healthcare professional regarding any medical condition. Information and statements provided by the site about dietary supplements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration and are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

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Source: Lifescript: Sex Rx for 5 Female Disorders

Suzanne Somers swears by bio-identical hormone replacement. She says it keeps her young, sexy and help fight disease: Ageless: The Naked Truth About Bioidentical Hormones & The Sexy Years: Discover the Hormone Connection: The Secret to Fabulous Sex, Great Health, and Vitality, for Women and Men

Posted: True Health Is True Wealth

Other Resources:

Younger Next Year for Women: Live Strong, Fit, and Sexy - Until You're 80 and Beyond

The Wisdom of Menopause: Creating Physical and Emotional Health and Healing During the Change, 2nd Edition

The Miracle of Bio-Identical Hormones, 2nd edition

Natural Hormone Balance for Women: Look Younger, Feel Stronger, and Live Life with Exuberance

Another Gardasil Scam - Don't buy into the penile cancer myth

For men, few phrases can make you cringe as quickly as this one: penile cancer. And that's the exact reaction Big Pharma is banking on -- because do they ever have a "cure" for you and your sons. When I read in the Journal of Clinical Pathology that Spanish researchers had identified human papillomavirus, or HPV, as the culprit for just under half of these penile cancer cases, I knew exactly what was coming next: Gardasil. Merck has been trying to force this poisonous vaccine into little girls around the world, with deadly results. In addition to being linked to dozens of deaths, other little girls have been stricken with extensive nerve damage and even Lou Gehrig's disease from this supposed cure. With "cures" like that, who needs cancer? So while Merck pushes to make this vaccine mandatory for young girls, an increasingly enlightened public has been pushing back. This dirty drug is now in danger of becoming a big flop for Big Pharma -- so the race is on, not to improve the vaccine, but to find another way to sell it. But don't you fall for this penis panic. No matter how scary it sounds, penile cancer is incredibly rare, accounting for less than 1 percent of all cancers here in the United States. There are just 26,000 cases of it each year -- in the entire world. It's so rare that when I mention it to people, the first reaction is often, "You can get cancer there?" Yes, you can -- but it's pretty unlikely. You'd be far more likely to suffer the side effects from the "cure" than the disease itself. Speaking of cancer quackery -- wait until you hear the latest news on prostate cancer. Prostate cancer: the big scam "What you don't know can't hurt you" may not sound like a very reliable medical maxim. But when it comes to cancer, you can bet your prostate it's true. That's because what you DO know usually leads to a surgery that you probably never needed. And when it comes to prostate cancer surgery, that means side effects such as impotence and incontinence. That's an awfully high price for a little bit of needless knowledge, and it's all because of those needless PSA tests. I've been called a lot of unkind words for saying that PSA tests are unnecessary and unreliable, and now I'm waiting for my apologies. The latest vindication can be found in the Journal of the National Cancer Institute, where I read a new study that concluded that PSA tests have led to mass over-diagnosis and mass over-treatment. At the same time, a study in the Journal of Clinical Oncology found that surgery to remove low-risk prostate cancer tumors can be delayed for years with no increase in the risk of death. But few men choose to go the "wait and see" route. In this large-scale study, researchers followed more than 50,000 men since 1986. Of them, 3,331 eventually got that prostate cancer diagnosis. All but 342 of them -- a little more than 10 percent -- opted for surgery. But of the 342 men who didn't get surgery, just 2 percent died because of their prostate cancer, versus 1 percent of the group who had surgery. Statistically, this difference is no difference at all. Between these two studies, it looks like somewhere around a million men -- a MILLION men -- got treatments they probably never needed, fattening the pockets of surgeons and dealing with all the stress, agony and expense that comes from being a cancer patient. Prostate cancer has become an industry of its own. Many of the same doctors who are advising you on your treatment options know they'd be out of a job if men began choosing to wait rather than rush into surgery. So when your doctor advises you to have prostate cancer surgery, whose interest is he really looking after? Not yours. Always looking out for YOUR best interest, William Campbell Douglass II, M.D. Related Resources: Gardasil: Oversold, Over-Hyped, and Risky? 32 Girls Have Died HPV Vaccine Dangers Why Use Vaccine for HPV When Green Tea Works? Can Oral Sex Cause Throat Cancer?

'Not Tonight Dear, I Have a Headache' 4 Ways to Save Your Sexless Marriage

If you hear “I’m not in the mood” more than you hear “come hither” whispers from your spouse, you may be among the many couples living in a sexless marriage. When couples aren’t connecting intimately, marriages suffer because ignoring each other’s physical and emotional needs is not how to make a marriage last. If this common marriage problem sounds familiar, read on to find out how to turn your chaste union into a nonstop spicy soirée…

Once a month? Once a week? Every night? How often must you have sex with your spouse to have what’s considered a healthy love life?
There’s no set number. However, experts define a sexless marriage as one in which couples make love no more than 10 times a year.

A 2003 Newsweek magazine study concluded that between 15% and 20% of couples fall into this category. That’s enough for experts to label it an epidemic.

One study found that 30%-50% of women and 20%- 30% of men reported having little to no sex drive. At least part of that statistic likely stems from hormonal issues.

But that’s not the only reason you’re refusing. Unresolved emotional issues are at the root of many sexless marriages. Resentment, unexpressed anger and hurt feelings often lead women to withhold sex. Maybe you’re too upset with him to let him touch you. Maybe you’re hoping that rejecting him sexually will send a message that you either can’t bring yourself to say or can’t seem to get across no matter how often you say it. Maybe you’re simply punishing him. (See related article: 10 Bad Habits that Could Ruin Your Marriage)

Say, for example, you feel taken for granted because your husband doesn’t help around the house. You think “If he isn’t doing something for me, why should I have sex with him?” (Memo to guys: A University of Washington study found that men who help with the housework have more active sex lives with their wives than their dishtowel-shunning brethren. Need more incentive? A 2003 University of California study found that women are not only more sexually receptive to men who help clean up at home, they’re actually more physically attracted to them.)

Sex isn’t the ultimate litmus test of a lovingrelationship, but physical intimacy is a vital way to stay emotionally connected with each other. Besides, it’s fun! Touch is therapeutic, especially when it’s given or received regularly.

Spending time together between the sheets can also be a great stress-reliever. And don’t forget about the body-sculpting benefits of sexercise.

Women aren’t the only ones who use “I’m not in the mood” to avoid sex, but we do fall back on the cliché more often than men do. Another common excuse? Turning him down because we’re too tired. Getting some shut-eye often sounds better than getting some action (even though a feel-good orgasm can make drifting off to sleep a lot easier).

Biological changes, too, may sap your libido. Your hormone levels can shift dramatically due to things like childbirth, menopause and depression (antidepressants often affect sex drive).

One study found that 30%-50% of women and 20%- 30% of men reported having little to no sex drive. At least part of that statistic likely stems from hormonal issues.

But that’s not the only reason you’re refusing. Unresolved emotional issues are at the root of many sexless marriages. Resentment, unexpressed anger and hurt feelings often lead women to withhold sex. Maybe you’re too upset with him to let him touch you. Maybe you’re hoping that rejecting him sexually will send a message that you either can’t bring yourself to say or can’t seem to get across no matter how often you say it. Maybe you’re simply punishing him.

(See related article: 10 Bad Habits that Could Ruin Your Marriage)

Say, for example, you feel taken for granted because your husband doesn’t help around the house. You think “If he isn’t doing something for me, why should I have sex with him?” (Memo to guys: A University of Washington study found that men who help with the housework have more active sex lives with their wives than their dishtowel-shunning brethren. Need more incentive? A 2003 University of California study found that women are not only more sexually receptive to men who help clean up at home, they’re actually more physically attracted to them.)

If you withhold sex long enough, eventually you’ll both get used to the lack of it and will stop trying to initiate it.

Usually, both partners end up feeling neglected and resentful:

"She never wants to sleep with me anymore!”

“He doesn’t care enough about me anymore to ask why I’m too angry to sleep with him!”

If left unresolved, such problems set the stage for divorce or affairs. (You’re not getting the affection and intimacy you crave from your spouse, so you seek it elsewhere.) That alone proves how important sex is to a marriage.

Now, here’s the good news: You can rekindle the intimacy you once enjoyed.

Start by following these four rules:

1. Stop the Blame Game
Hormone-triggered mood swings aside, the first step to salvaging your sex life is to stop blaming each other. Resolve together to get to the real root of the problem and to fix it.

Hectic schedule getting in the way? Reassess your priorities.
Odds are, you’re putting less important items ahead of sex with your spouse. (If you’ve ever seen him giving you “the look” and told him, “I’ll come to bed right after I fold this laundry, make the kids’ lunch for tomorrow and take out the recycling,” you’re guilty.)

Why reserve a roll in the hay for only those occasions when you’ve got extra time or energy? Scrap the insignificant stuff and make sex a part of your schedule. (It looks a lot more fun on your to-do list than “buy cat litter” or “balance checkbook”!)

2. Talk It Out
If you’re in agony over the abstinence, stop silently hoping things will work themselves out. Communication is key in any healthy relationship. And since you’ve already gone all the way with your husband (presumably many times), sex shouldn’t be an off-limits topic.

Get over your embarrassment already and talk to your partner about his perception of the problem. Which of his needs are not being met? Be open, honest and sensitive to his feelings, and try not to get defensive. Urge him to approach the conversation with the same constructive attitude.

3. Enlist a Pro’s Help
If you need help communicating, consider individual therapy or couples counseling. You may have already given having more sex an honest go, but to no avail. And that’s probably because the real root of the problem wasn’t properly addressed – by either one or both of you.

A therapist can help you articulate what you might not be able to, including emotional problems within your relationship, resentment or unexpressed anger, or any hang-ups about sex that may stem from your past. He or she can give you a fresh perspective and send you on your way with new solutions to save your sexless marriage. (Financial worries turning you off? See related article: The Marital Money Pits)

You might also talk to your doctor if you can’t pinpoint why you’re never in the mood. Health issues may be responsible for a low sex drive or nonexistent libido, not your partner or a hectic schedule. Some culprits include menopause, certain medications like birth control pills or antidepressants, or depression itself. If you’ve recently given birth and are breastfeeding, the hormone prolactin, combined with other hormonal changes, can also affect your libido. Talk to your doctor about your options.

4. Take Action
Once you’ve talked things through, stop analyzing the emotional issues and start resolving them physically. Translation: Get in the bedroom.

And don’t wait until you feel “in the mood.” Unfortunately, modern life is filled with more 10-hour workdays and tiring nights with the kids than candlelit dinners and bubble baths for two. All the more reason for you and your hubby to enjoy a happy, healthy release for all that stress.
Initiate sex – or even just physical contact like hand holding or hugging – every day until you get back on track.
But don’t simply go through the motions. Tune in to your body and his, and focus on enjoying the intimacy.
Who says married couples have to go from sizzling honeymoon stage to fizzling Honeymooners scene?

Take a moment to remember how exciting your love life was in those first few years of marriage. It should remind you that it’s worth working at to recapture the magic.

No matter how long you’ve been married or how busy your life has become, it’s never too late to reignite your passion for each other.

But, like all good things in life, it takes a little effort. Recommit to making sex a priority. You’ll give you and your spouse a happier, healthier life together.

Rate Your Sex Drive
Is your sex drive running on fumes or revved up to go the distance? To answer this question, don’t judge by how often you’re getting busy – the true gauge is how aroused you get. Find out where your libido rates on the sex-o-meter, and what you can do if you’re running low on steam with this sex drive quiz

By Emily Battaglia, LifeScript Staff Writer

Posted: True Health Is True Wealth