The Making of Another Justina Pelletier Case?

By: Susan Knowles -  Gulag Bound  -  Cross-Posted at the NoisyRoom

Stand for Truth

Justina Pelletier was returned to her family in Connecticut after more than 16 months away from them due to being removed by the Department of Children and Families (DCF) in Massachusetts (for more of Justina’s story click here).

What I believe was instrumental in helping to return Justina to her family was her father, Lou Pelletier’s refusal to sit down and shut up, when a gag order was put in place to prevent him from speaking out to the public about his daughter’s plight. I believe that it also helped Justina to have such tremendous public support once the word leaked out that she was being held.

Lou Pelletier first spoke out about Justina’s situation on the Glenn Beck show and from there the family was put in contact with excellent legal counsel, Mat Staver, of Liberty Counsel who represented the family from that point on. Additionally, the local Fox News affiliate in Connecticut, followed the story until the very end when Justina was finally reunited with her loving family.

Additionally, numerous hours were spent by supporters who placed telephone calls to the Governor of Massachusetts, DCF, the judge in the case and just about anyone else who would listen. There were also many who protested in front of the courthouse, DCF’s location, at Boston Children’s Hospital, and a facility in Massachusetts where Justina had been placed. Finally, countless Twitter “firestorms” were held to protest what supporters strongly believed was an injustice that needed to be righted.

Still others, like myself, wrote countless articles and spread the word on Twitter, Facebook, and YouTube so that the word about what was happening to Justina under the “care” of DCF might be made known. I also started a Facebook page, called “Stop Government Takeover of Our Children” as a result of my work toward bringing Justina home. My page was created to bring awareness, foster discussion, and to offer solutions toward resolving government overreach pertaining to our kids.

Once people heard about the facts of the Pelletier case, they were convinced that Justina had been unjustly taken from her family and they were determined to see her case through until she was returned to her parents’ custody.

Now there is a new case. It’s not so new really but it has not gained national attention like the Pelletier case.

I’m speaking of the CPS involved case of Dylan Wesolowski. I was recently contacted by Dylan’s mother Monika Wesolowski, after she learned about the articles I had written concerning Justina.

From what I know of Ms. Wesolowski, she is a conservative, a State Department employee with a secret clearance, and her parents emigrated here from Poland.

I’ve just begun to research the facts of this case but I want to present them to you and ask that you do your own research to determine if this family’s dilemma deserves public action, as in Justina’s case.

Here is what I know of the facts. In an April 30, 2014 letter, Wesolowski wrote to Dave Hodges, host of thecommensenseshow.com, for help in getting her son’s story heard.

Wesolowski alleges the following: On December 2013, in Fairfax County, Virginia, police officers dressed in SWAT gear came to her home after there had been a report that she had choked her four year old son, who has Autism, two days prior. Wesolowski accuses Dylan’s father of making this report. According to Ms. Wesolowski, she had gotten sole legal custody of her child approximately 2 months before her encounter with the police and CPS in December 2013.

CPS arrived at the Wesolowski residence about an hour after the police officers’ arrival. The entire meeting lasted from dylan with momapproximately 8:30 p.m. to 11:00 p.m. During the investigation by the police and CPS, a small red mark was noticed on the back of Dylan’s neck. Dylan was subsequently removed and placed in the temporary custody of Wesolowski’s neighbors.

Following the encounter, Ms. Wesolowski’s neighbors (who had temporary custody) and she, took Dylan to a pediatrician so that the red mark could be diagnosed. The pediatrician’s report, according to Wesolowski, indicates that the red mark was eczema. Wesolowski reportedly has the medical records to prove this fact.

Monika also states in her letter, that once CPS discovered that she had taken her son to the pediatrician, they were very angry, used the report against her claiming that she wanted to cover up the mark with medication, and that she had coerced the doctor into rendering that diagnosis.

Monika further contends that CPS investigated her daycare center alleging that they may have abused her son. She believes these allegations against her daycare center were used as part of a scare tactic.

The case took another turn, when in a separate letter to Dave Hodges, dated May 15, 2014, Wesolowski claims that her parents in Illinois were contacted by the Illinois DCF. She states that they tried to get her parents to sign a document saying that Wesolowski had hurt her son. When her parents refused to sign the document, they were told by someone from DCF in Illinois that Virginia DCF wouldn’t like the fact that they didn’t sign the document. Further, they were allegedly told that since they were on their daughter’s side (evidenced by the fact that they wouldn’t sign the agreement), they had no chance of getting Dylan.

Although, Ms. Wesolowski has never been arrested or charged with any crime, her son was placed in a second foster home with two dads who are gay. Ms. Wesolowski, not only is opposed to the placement of her son in foster care altogether, but believes since she is Roman Catholic, that he should have been placed elsewhere. Supposedly, close friends and family were available and willing to take Dylan into their home.

The case has taken yet another turn. Monika has leveled accusations of possible sexual abuse in this case. She claims in a previous email to Mr. Hodges, that her son is being sexually abused while under the care of Virginia DCF/CPS.

As proof of sexual abuse, Wesolowski claims that she has found “marks” in sensitive areas on Dylan’s body consistent with sexual abuse. In addition, Dylan, now age five, has regressed to defecating in his pants and is back in diapers, according to Wesolowski. She also asserts that Dylan has unexplained fits of temper where he talks about cutting off his hands and the hands of others. She claims that while he is preparing to take a bath, he yells that he “wants to cut his hands off over and over and over prior to the bath.” Dave Hodges, a former mental health professional, is also convinced that these reports are evidence of possible child abuse that are reportable and should be investigated.

Ms. Wesolowski also claims to have photographic evidence of Dylan’s alleged abuse. She contends in an email to Mr. Hodges that Dylan’s dermatitis rash on his back and shoulder were seen for several weeks and were getting progressively work. She described her son as being “skinnier” and that he had lost weight since being placed in foster care. If true, Monika’s allegations of abuse would make any parent cringe. To date, however, Dylan remains in the same foster care environment with the two dads.

As a mental health professional, several things jump out at me as being unusual. First, I have never known CPS to place a child in temporary custody with a neighbor. When there is existing family, barring other factors that wouldn’t be in the child’s best interests, children are placed in foster care with their own relatives. If that is not an option, then there are usually facilities where the child can be taken into the direct care and custody of CPS, at least initially. Why wasn’t that done in this case?

Secondly, any allegations of sexual or physical abuse, if reported must be investigated by CPS. In the Department of Social Services own CPS handbook in Virginia, “What Is Child Protective Services?” CPS has the “responsibility to respond to reports of suspected child abuse or neglect (emphasis added).” Was there a report made of the allegations by anyone? Would CPS have been deemed to have knowledge of suspected child abuse or neglect, if Wesolowski verbally reported her suspicions to them, rather than filing a formal complaint? Did Wesolowski file a formal complaint? If allegations were known by CPS, has an investigation been made, and if so, what was the outcome of the investigation? Undoubtedly, CPS would refrain from responding to that question based upon grounds of confidentiality.

Thirdly, there are a number of foster care homes available in most areas. Should CPS have changed Dylan’s foster care home to avoid potential future allegations being made against CPS or the foster parents as a way of mitigating possible litigation?

Also, if true, why did Illinois DCF become involved in the case when Dylan and his mother live in Virginia? It would be reasonable, if CPS had wanted to place Dylan in a temporary foster home with his grandparents, to have asked Illinois DCF, where the grandparents are located, to check out the their home beforehand to make sure that it was a suitable environment for Dylan. However, according to Ms. Wesolowski, her parents were asked only to sign a document against her.

Dave Hodges believes so much in Dylan’s case that he has set up a gofundme.com account so that Ms. Wesolowski will be able to retain an attorney and try to regain custody of her son. The account indicates a goal of $20,000. Currently, the amount reached is slightly over, $17,000.

If the Justina Pelletier case is any indication of what lies ahead for Monika in her quest to bring Dylan home, then she may be facing a long and arduous battle. Only time will tell if the public will embrace her story and rally around Dylan, as they did for Justina.

——- GB ——-

Susan Calloway Knowles, is a licensed California psychotherapist, former practicing California attorney, author, and political/cultural blogger. Her website is SusanKnowles.com. Susan’s book, a political fiction, is entitled Freedom’s Fight: A Call to Remember and is available on Amazon. Susan can be reached by email at Susan@SusanKnowles.com.

References:

• http://www.dss.virginia.gov/files/division/dfs/cps/intro_page/publications/B032-01-0974-06-eng.pdf
• http://www.gofundme.com/a3s554
• http://www.thecommonsenseshow.com/2014/05/17/illinois-and-virginia-cps-conspire-to-steal-and-sex-traffic-children
• http://www.thecommonsenseshow.com/2014/06/13/cps-vs-the-preservation-of-the-family-will-you-help

© 2014, Susan Knowles.

Technorati Tags: Justina Pelletier,Big Brother Tactics,Watch the Other Hand,Wake-Up,Parental Rights. DCF,Massachussetts,Dylan Wesolowski.

What About Abortion’s Negative Impact on Men? – The Forgotten Fathers

Washington, DC (By Lauren Enriquez - LiveActionNews- Opinon): With the Supreme Court’s Roe v. Wade decision in 1973 came the legalization of the ultimate usurper of fatherhood: abortion. Forty years later, America faces the unpleasant reality that, thanks to abortion and the sexual revolution, the role of fatherhood has rapidly made an about-face. Fatherhood has gone from being an unquestioned ingredient in family life to a variable that occurs in the family dynamic only when circumstances are aligned just right.

It is this dilemma that prompted Online for Life President Brian Fisher, in anticipation of Father’s Day, to release a FoxNews column about the impact of abortion on men. Fisher begins by acknowledging that the landmark Roe v. Wade decision in 1973 was a welcome liberation from perceived shackles of fatherhood. However, as the years have dragged on, more tragic and dark realities have emerged as true consequences of abortion’s mitigation of fatherly rights and responsibilities. Says Fisher:

Of course, millions of men welcomed the change. The sexual revolution was booming, and men were experiencing a new kind of empowerment we hadn’t previously enjoyed…

Abortion didn’t empower women.  It empowered men.

Fast forward to Father’s Day 2013.

Fifty-five million aborted babies later, it seems many men are realizing the Supreme Court got it wrong.  Fatherhood doesn’t start with birth. It starts when we opt to sleep with a woman.  And, despite federal law, our consciences testify that we are wired to protect and care for a child when it is conceived, not nine months later.

What are the unfortunate side-effects of elective abortion for men? According to Fisher, abortion is beginning to show its ugly face in the form of many tragic consequences, including depression and the exploitation of women:

We are just now considering, though, that we victimize ourselves.

Depression, guilt, shame, a loss of self, a loss of honor, and destroyed relationships are common male consequences of abortion.

In our heart of hearts, we are coming to grips with what we’re doing. We are willfully taking the lives of those we are wired to protect.

Men, born to be honorable and full of valor, Fisher says, have traded their innate sense of responsibility for a perceived freedom that is not worth the cost. He says that a man’s fundamental calling to defend those who are dependent on him, including the unborn, is squashed by the abortion mentality.

He concludes by suggesting that, although Father’s Day is a time to remember and honor the good men in our lives, it has also morphed into a day when the nation should mourn. As we need a Veterans’ Day to thank those who have fought for our freedom, we also need Memorial Day to remember those who have fallen victim to the ravages of war. Similarly, every Father’s Day since 1973 has become a day when we cannot turn a blind eye to the fact that fathers are undermined by a culture that affirms “a woman’s right to choose,” since that tragic choice eliminates what is good about men and fathers.

Organizations like Rachel’s Vineyard work to heal the wound that abortion has left on women and men alike.

LifeNews Note: Lauren is a former Legislative Associate for Texas Right to Life and a graduate of Ave Maria University. This post originally appeared at Live Action News.

Technorati Tags: Fathers,Abortion,Fatherhood,Choices,Father's DAy,Veteran's Day,Parenting

Looking Back: Sarah Palin as McCain’s VP – 2008 OpEd

Tripp Palin Johnston and His Uncle Trig Palin

Washington Times: Amid the speculation regarding John McCain’s choice to complete his presidential ticket, I offer my unsolicited suggestion for his vice president: the first woman — and youngest — governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin, who is an unstereotypical and effective Republican.

During her first year in office, as reported by the Associated Press on May 10, she “distanced herself from the old guard, powerful members of the state GOP (and) stood up to the oil interests that hold great power in Alaska, and with bipartisan support in the statehouse, she won a tax increase on the oil companies’ profits.” Last December, this mother of four children, Mrs. Palin, four months’ pregnant, found she was going to have a child with Down syndrome — a condition characterized by moderate-to-severe mental retardation. A school friend of one of my sons had Down syndrome; I have also known functioning adults with the extra chromosomes of that syndrome.

However, as a longtime reporter on disability rights, I have discovered that many fetuses so diagnosed have been aborted by parents who have been advised by their doctors to end the pregnancies because of the future “imperfect quality of life” of such children.

Mrs. Palin’s first reaction to the diagnosis was to research the facts about the condition, since, as she said, “I’ve never had problems with my other pregnancies.” As a result, she and her husband, Todd, never had any doubt they would have the child.

“We’ve both been very vocal about being pro-life,” she told the Associated Press. “We understand that every innocent life has wonderful potential.” In an age when DNA and other genetic-selection tests increasingly determine who is “fit” to join us human beings, we are witnessing the debate between sanctity of life vs. quality of life being more often decided in favor of death. This is a result welcomed by internationally-influential bioethicist Peter Singer. He is now a celebrated Princeton University professor, who, in July 1983, wrote in Pediatrics, the official Journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics: “If we compare a severely defective human infant with a nonhuman animal, a dog or pig, for example, we will often find the nonhuman to have superior capacities, both actual and potential, for rationality, self-consciousness, communication, and anything else that can plausibly be considered morally significant.” And there are bioethicists who point to the continuing costs of rearing a “defective infant.”

By inspirational contrast, Mrs. Palin, says of her new son, Trig: “I’m looking at him right now, and I see perfection. Yeah, he has an extra chromosome. I keep thinking, in our world, what is normal and what is perfect?” Three days after she gave birth, Mrs. Palin was back in her Anchorage office with her husband and Trig. “I can think of so many male candidates,” she tells the AP, “who watched families grow while they were in office. There is no reason to believe a woman can’t do it with a growing family. My baby will not be at all or in any sense neglected.” Says the governor of Alaska: “I will not shirk my duties.” Taking her stand for life as a holder of high political office is all the more valuable in the face of the termination of fetal lives as not worth continuing before they can speak for themselves. Mrs. Palin’s stand also puts a searching light on the growing “futility” doctrine in hospitals which is affecting people of all ages.

Nancy Valko, a medical ethicist and intensive-care nurse I consult on these lives-worth-living debates, has emphasized that “with the rise of the modern bioethics movement, life is no longer assumed to have the intrinsic value it once did, and ‘quality of life’ has become the overriding consideration.” Because of Mrs. Palin’s reputation as a maverick, and her initial reduction of state spending (including pork-barrel spending), life-affirming Palin connects with voters. For these reasons, she has been mentioned as a possible vice presidential running mate for Mr. McCain.

She would be a decided asset: an independent Republican governor, a woman, a defender of life against the creeping culture of death and a fresh face in national politics. She was described in “the Almanac of National Politics” as “an avid hunter and fisher with a killer smile who wears designer glasses and heels, and hair like modern sculpture.” Moreover, I doubt that she would engage in such campaigning, as Sen. McCain’s strongly implying that a Hamas terrorist saying he would like Barack Obama to be president thereby damages Mr. McCain’s opponent (though Mr. Obama has totally condemned Hamas). Still unknown is whether Mrs. Palin would be as flip-flopping as Mr. McCain on the Bush torture policy that has so blighted our reputation in the world. But we would find out: If chosen as his running mate, she would create more interest in this already largely scripted presidential campaign.

And her presence could highlight Mr. Obama’s extremist abortion views on whether certain lives are worth living — even a child born after a botched abortion.  

Governor Palin: An Extra Chromosome of Love

Trig Palin Age 3 

Gov. Palin: Trig is getting a buddy!

Technorati Tags: Life,Life Is a Gift,Children,Babies,Abortion,Parenting,Choices,Palin,Sarah Palin,Trig Palin,The Palins,Pro-Life,Down Syndrome,Love,Extra Chromosome

Happy Father’s Day 2014

A hundred years ago, Sonora Smart Dodd was sitting in church one Sunday when she came up with the idea of a national Father’s Day on the order of Mother’s Day. It took 57 years before President Lyndon Johnson issued a proclamation in 1966 making it the national holiday we celebrate today.

“Any man can be a Father, but it takes a special person to be called Dad.”

The Dads and Moms in this world are the people, the real parents (birth parents, adoptive parents, stepparents, grandparents and mentors), who loved us everyday… and who were there for the good, the bad, the fun, the boring, the daily routine, the tough and the special  times.  They are the parents who invested in us… with their time, their money, their energy, their advice, their wisdom, their love…)

A few years ago, I received a Father’s Day card from my son Tim. On the front of it was a picture of a little boy sitting up in bed. Terror was written on his face. His hair was standing straight up, and the card said, “Dad, I want to thank you.”

Well, I wondered, a Father’s Day card with this boy terrorized, had I done that to my son? I opened the card up and it said, “I want to thank you for helping me kill all the dragons of my mind so I could go out and fight the real ones.

Dad: Are You Part of “The Great Conversation”?

Originally Posted on June 20, 2010 by Marion Algier - Ask Marion – Reposted by request

A few weeks ago, John Mackey, founder and CEO of Whole Foods, invited me to a social event at his ranch west of Austin.

Wandering through his home, I couldn’t help admiring the beautiful artwork on the walls, much of it depicting Eastern mystical traditions. I asked John if he had an interest in oriental philosophy.

“Some,” he said, adding at one point, “I’m a perennialist.”

What a thought-provoking self-description, one you seldom hear these days.

Perennialists believe you should learn – and pass along to your children and students – those things that are of everlasting importance to all people everywhere, as discussed in Wisdom: The Greatest Gift One Generation Can Give To Another by Andrew Zuckerman

What are those things? Humanity’s best ideas about how to live.

Some will insist, of course, that we’ve hit a snag right out of the gate. After all, the world is full of divergent views. People simply don’t agree on these matters.

But perennialists counter that enlightened people everywhere agree on certain coreprinciples. These are handed down from generation to generation, through the ages, and across nations and cultures.

The phrase Philosophia Perennis – the Perennial Philosophy – was coined by the German mathematician, philosopher and polymath Gottfried Leibniz (1646-1716). In more recent years, Aldous Huxley, Mortimer Adler, and Huston Smith, among other writers, have carried the perennialist torch, beckoning us to take part in what they call “The Great Conversation.”

It’s a broad discussion about what constitutes the best life, one that encompasses everything from the Analects of Confucius to Aristotle’s Nicomachean Ethics – the sound, practical and undogmatic ethics of common sense – to the mystical truths of the world’s great religious traditions. (It is the kind of thought that would have brought Thomas Jefferson, a man who believed in God but not steeped in any one particular Christian religion or even organized religion at all, to make the conscious choice of using Judeo-Christian Values as a basis for American law and that would have brought him and theFounding Fathers to choosing to make America a Republic rather than a Democracy.)

The conversation is ongoing and evolving, never static. The best ideas about how to live are hardly new, of course. But discoveries are sometimes made and old ideas are enlarged or restated for a modern audience. Recent books that touch on the perennial philosophy include Roger Walsh’s Essential Spirituality, Karen Armstrong’s The Great Transformation, and Robert Wright’s The Evolution of God.

Perennialists understand the connection between compassion and successful living. They offer, for example, that:

* Everything worthwhile in life is created as the result of love and concern for others.
* Humanity is one great family. Our similarities are deep, our differences superficial.
* The Golden Rule, expressed in some way in every society, is the cornerstone of human understanding.
* The giving of time, money, support and encouragement can never be detrimental to the giver.
* Character development – the path from self-absorption to caring and consciousness – is paramount.
* Problems are life’s way of getting the best out of us. They are opportunities to grow.
* It is important to nourish your mind with the thoughts of history’s wisest thinkers.
* Courage and self-awareness are required to live fully and follow your heart.
* You should develop the ability to reason accurately and independently rather than accepting ideas based solely on authority or tradition.
* Our egos cause us to cherish opinions, judge others and rationalize our beliefs. Perennialists ask “would you rather be right or be happy?”
* We should exercise humility. Not because others find it attractive – although they do – but because, if we are honest with ourselves, we have much to be humble about.
* We should practice forgiveness. When we forgive others, we find that others forgive us – and that we forgive ourselves.
* Moral development comes from strengthening our impulse control, prioritizing personal relationships and fostering social responsibility.
* Our lives are immeasurably improved by expressing gratitude and generosity.
* Development of the heart is essential. Our actions are the mirror of our inner selves.
* Whenever we act, we are never just doing. We are always becoming. If we aren’t growing, we are diminishing.
* Integrity is everything.

Rather than quarreling over sectarian differences, perennialists are interested in the nuggets of truth at the heart of every great tradition.

Two years ago, for instance, a friend and I bumped into Nassim Nicholas Taleb, author ofThe Black Swan, at a bookstore in Vancouver. (This was no great coincidence. All three of us were speaking at an investment conference at the Fairmont down the street.)

Taleb indicated that he was planning to write a book on religion, whereupon my friend and he got into a brief dispute about whether a particular theological point “was true.”

Like many conversations of this nature, there was more heat shed than light. Frustrated at one point, Taleb waved an arm toward the fiction section. “How about all those books over there. Are they true?”

“Of course not,” my friend said. “They’re novels.”

“But they are full of universal truths,” I added.

Taleb turned and jabbed a finger in my direction. “Exactly!”

Consciously or not, he was advocating the perennial philosophy. Perennialists seek enlightenment wherever they can find it. It doesn’t matter whether the source is ancient, modern, mythical, foreign, mystical or verified by the latest scientific findings. It only matters that it’s true – and that it has some practical application for more skillful living.

As the historian Will Durant wrote in The Greatest Minds and Ideas of All Time… Time, “We are born animals; we become human. We have humanity thrust upon us through the hundred channels whereby the past pours down into the present that mental and cultural inheritance whose preservation, accumulation and transmission place mankind today, with all its defectives and illiterates, on a higher plane than any generation has ever reached before.”

What is that higher plane? An upward spiral of caring – from me to us to all of us.

It doesn’t always come naturally. And for some, unfortunately, it doesn’t come at all.  (But The Great Conversation ends up being a bridge for many who find it hard to pray or believe, after which Prayer becomes the result and pinnacle of The Great Conversation )

But perennialists try to absorb as much as they can of our three-thousand-year heritage and take an occasional moment from their hectic lives to ask, “Am I becoming the kind of person I want to be? Am I part of The Great Conversation?”

Carpe Diem,
Alex

Alex Greene is the Investment Director of The Oxford Club (and one of my favorite inspirational writers). The Oxford Club Communique, whose portfolio he directs, is ranked among the top 5 investment letters in the nation for 10-year performance by the independent Hulbert Investment Digest. Alex is the author of The New York Times bestseller “The Gone Fishin’ Portfolio: Get Wise, Get Wealthy…and Get on With Your Life (Agora Series)” and, more recently, “The Secret of Shelter Island: Money and What Matters.” He has been featured on Oprah & Friends, CNBC, National Public Radio (NPR), Fox Newsand “The O’Reilly Factor,” and has been profiled by The Wall Street Journal,BusinessWeek, Forbes, and Kiplinger’s Personal Finance, among others. He currently lives in Charlottesville, Virginia and Winter Springs, Florida with his wife Karen and their children Hannah and David.

God and Dad — A Father’s Four Lessons of Faith

Why are men abandoning God?

Religion is increasingly a woman’s domain in America.  Two-thirds of church and synagogue attendees are women, studies show, with young men fleeing the pews even faster.  On any given weekend, 13 million more women than men will attend religious institutions.

Home is even worse.  Moms are usually the ones talking about God at the dinner table.  When the topic turns to faith, dad is usually out to lunch.

What a shame.  Fathers can find great inspiration in faith.  For the last dozen years, I’ve traced the influence of the Bible through the Middle East and America looking at how religious figures from the past are relevant to today’s families.  In Walking the Bible, I climbed Mount Ararat, crossed the Red Sea, and spent weeks recreating the Exodus through the desert.  In Where God Was Born, I continued that journey through the second half the Bible in Israel, Iraq, and Iran.  In America’s Prophet, I explored how the story of Moses has influenced Americans from the Liberty Bell, through the Statue of Liberty, through Cecil B. DeMille and Charlton Heston.

Two years ago this week I was struck by a life-threatening illness and suddenly my travels took a more personal turn.  What lessons of faith would I pass on to my three-year-old twin daughters (or sons)?  My new book, The Council of Dads, includes a Father’s Four Lessons of Faith.

1.  Wrestle with God.  In Genesis 32, Jacob wrestles with a messenger of God.  The two come to a standstill, and the messenger leaves a mark on Jacob.  The scar does not end up on Jacob’s hand, nor on his head, his heart, or his eyes.  Humans experience God, the text suggests, not by touching him, imagining him, feeling him, or seeing him.  Jacob is scarred on his leg, for the essential way humans experience God is by walking with him.  Forever after, Jacob is called “Israel,” one who wrestles with God.  Don’t be afraid of doubt.  The true way to experience the divine is struggle with him.

2.  Befriend the Stranger.  There’s a reason the Exodus story has inspired so many Americans.  It’s a narrative of home.  “This year we are slaves, but next year we can be free.”  History is not set in stone.  It is not an immovable pyramid.  The pyramid can be flipped.  When you despair, when you hurt, when you fear – and especially when you encounter those feelings in others – remember the slaves who first groaned under bondage.  You should read the Israelites’ story and remember: There is a moral dimension to the universe.  Right can prevail over might; justice can triumph over evil.  Flip a few pyramids yourselves along the way.  Overturn injustice.  Befriend the stranger, for you, yourselves, were strangers once in a land with no hope.

3.  Plunge Into the Waters. One reason Moses is America’s true founding father is that he evangelizes action; he justifies risk.  He gives ordinary people the courage to live with uncertainty.  The visionaries who have been inspired by him – Christopher Columbus,Benjamin Franklin, Harriet Tubman, Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King – were not born to greatness.  They became great by tapping into the anger and hope within themselves.  Imagine your own promised land, girls, plunge into the waters, persevere through the dryness, and don’t be surprised – or saddened – if you’re stopped just short of your dream.  Because the ultimate lesson of Moses’ life is that the dream does not die with the dreamer, and the true destination in a narrative of hope is not this year at all.  But next.

4.  Be Reunited With the Ones You Love.  My book, “The Council of Dads” tells the story of my “lost year” fighting cancer and the men I asked to be father figures to my daughters.  Today I am cancer-free, and I learned a powerful lesson during that experience.  The Liberty Bell has a quote from Moses on its side, “Proclaim Liberty throughout the world, unto all the inhabitants thereof.”  This line refers to a tradition whereby every seven years, farmers are obliged to give their fields a year of rest.  Every 49 years the land gets an extra year of rest, during which all families are reunited, and all people reunited with the ones they love.  That fiftieth year is called the jubilee year.  That tradition perfectly captures my experience.  My “lost year” was my jubilee year.  I was needy.  I was a stranger.  I was reunited with the ones I love.  Don’t forget to slow down, girls.  Reunite with the ones you love.

Take trips.  Take chances.  Take off.

Feiler was featured on the Glenn Beck Show on Friday 6.17.10

By Bruce Feiler -  the bestselling author of “Abraham,” “Walking the Bible, “America’s Prophet” and “The Council of Dads.” Click here to buy The Council of Dads.  Or click on the title to purchase America’s Prophet, which Glenn Beck called “the best book of narrative history I have ever read.  I cannot recommend it highly enough.”  To learn more, or watch a video of Bruce talking about the life lessons of his fathers, please visit www.councilofdads.com.

As we find ourselves in the midst of perhaps the greatest fight for American values including, our Judeo-Christian heritage, our inalienable rights and freedoms (the U.S. Bill or Rights enumerates many but is only the beginning), our way of life, free market Capitalism, and perhaps our Republic itself, the greatest question that we must be asking ourselves is why? 

At the center of our problems seems to be our National Character that has been purposely attacked by a progressive left movement for the past 100 years. The present onslaught under the present administration and leadership in Washington is actually the 3rd attempt to destroy the American way of life, which has been weakened through a methodical plan which includes the weakening of the family unit, the diminishment of religion being replaced by secularism or even environmentalism or sustainable development as a religion,political correctness, and the loss of connection with Americans with our history and the Founding Fathers through the focused dumbing down of America, which includes re-writing history, drugs and chemicals in our water and food supplies, vaccines, media brainwashing and diversion from core responsibilities and activities, and an onslaught of progressive thinking in all areas of life.

There is a new brilliant documentary out called Generation Zero that every American needs to see, that makes it all very clear. It pulls together everything from the past 40-years into a concise package, explaining how we got here and what we have to do to get ourselves out. If we make a U-turn and do what is needed, no matter how hard it is, we will make it. If we do not, we will fall by the way side like all former empires and superpowers that became arrogant and narcissistic.

Generation Zero is the film of the discussion and thoughts that every fiscal conservative and American who has uses their common sense has had many times over, without necessarily knowing all the facts. I know I and many of my friends have had this conversation many times, however, I didn’t realize how close the country came to collapse during the dark days of September 2008. This film makes it clear how close we came to the abyss. The film opens and closes with video from CSPAN that reflects the anger of middle-class America and how close we came to a complete and utter meltdown on September 18, 2008 when there was an electronic bank run that was hurtling out of control. Watch this clip to understand the situation. It also explains to those who still don’t get it, where the Tea Party and other like movement have come from.  (Read Full Article)

Everyone needs to see this movie: Generation Zero

We, spoiled baby-boomers raised by the Greatest Generation who wanted to spare their kids of hardship, have created The Lost Generation that desperately needs help to be turned around. Unfortunately turning the tide we have created is like righting the Titanic once she started to sink, if it is possible, it will be an extremely difficult and slow process and unfortunately not in time to stop the affects of the damage for families like the Schullers and many others… as well as for America herself. (However, in 30 Ways in 30 Days to Save Your Family… by Rebecca Hegelin, she out lines some great steps of where to start, and start we must with our kids being taught that they know better than their parents in both school and through programs like Americorps.)

The spoiling of our children and taking our eye off what might be argued as our greatest responsibility is rampant throughout America and not restricted  to any one group. Not to kick someone when they are down, but a sad example can be gained from the Schullers of Crystal Cathedral and Hour of Power fame:  Pianist Roger Williams:  (spoiled) Schuller Kids Spoiled Crystal Cathedral.

Dads, Moms, Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents and all Americans must take up the gauntlet to restore our values.

Pet Dads With Their Pet (Furkids)

Related:

Deliberate Dumbing Down of America – E Book download is NOW FREE TO ALL!!!
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Good News for Justina Pelletier: She May Finally Get to Go Home

Some very good news…

Life News: In a dramatic reversal, the Massachusetts’ Department of Children and Families (DCF) has filed a motion with the courts agreeing with our petition to have Justina Pelletier returned home to her family.

The motion for review of reconsideration and dismissal in the case of Justina Pelletier follows Liberty Counsel’s motion to return Justina home which was filed less than two weeks ago. The motion indicates that DCF is in agreement with returning custody of Justina to her parents!

DCF’s concession completely undercuts their argument and reasoning for performing a “parent-ectomy” and removing Justina from the care of the Pelletiers in the first place.

She is now getting treatment from Tuft’s medical providers where she was receiving effective treatments before Boston Children’s Hospital intervened.

The entire process is now waiting on the judge. At this point, there is no reason to delay. There’s no reason why he can’t act immediately!

We have filed a motion asking Judge Joseph Johnston to expedite a ruling since all parties are in agreement. A ruling could come any day now.

Every hour she’s not back with her family is an hour she can’t ever get back. Once she does get home, she’ll have a long road to recovery — physically, mentally and spiritually.

Justina has now lost well over a year of her life with her family. The Pelletiers have spent untold hours and an enormous amount of resources fighting “Goliath” to get their daughter back from the misguided actions of an out-of-control state agency.

Justina has recorded a special video plea to Juvenile Court Judge Johnston and Governor Deval Patrick begging them to allow her to go home.

LifeNews Note: Mat Staver is the Chairman of Liberty Counsel Action and Founder and Chairman of Liberty Counsel.

Technorati Tags: Justina Pelletier,Pelletier,Victory,Parenting,Big Brother Tactics,Obamaland,HealthCare,Parental Rights,Wake-Up

New Placement gives DCF hostage Justina Pelletier more privileges

Justina Pelletier and Her Parents.

CommunitiesDigitalNews: CONNECTICUT, May 14, 2014 —  Last Monday, the Commonwealth of Massachusetts moved 15-year old Justina Pelletier across state lines to her new placement at the JRI Susan Wayne Center for Excellence in Thompson, Connecticut. According to the Pelletier family, the move comes as a welcome, but not ideal, change of circumstances for their child, who was removed from their care under highly questionable circumstances last year by the Massachusetts Department of Children and Families (DCF). Yesterday, the family emerged hopeful from a meeting with the Wayne Center, after learning that their daughter would have more privileges, education time, and access to her family in the Connecticut facility.

“The people at Susan Wayne were very nice to us and have assured us that Justina will have more time with her family while we wait for her to come home,” says Justina’s older sister Jennifer, age 22. “But it’s still a three hour trip for us to see Justina at her new placement in Connecticut, which is just as far from our house in West Hartford as Justina’s last placement at the Wayside Center in Framingham, Massachusetts.”

At the time Justina was taken into State custody in February 2013, she was also a competitive figure skater. Currently, Justina is wheelchair bound and has lost much of her hair while in State care, going nearly a year without adequate medical treatment for her deadly metabolic disorder at Boston Children’s Hospital’s psychiatric lock down facility. Throughout the process, Jennifer, a West Hartford skating instructor, has been a staunch advocate for her little sister, regularly meeting with State officials and leaders on Justina’s behalf, and only missed one week of visitation.

“Our concerns for Justina’s medical care are still there,” says Jennifer, who questions whether a psychiatric facility is an appropriate placement for a child with such serious medical issues. She points out that the lack of medical specialists working for the Wayne Center means that Justina’s physical therapist will be an outside contractor who is brought in twice per week to work with her sister, which may not be enough.

STATE DOES DAMAGE CONTROL ON DCF BUSINESS MODEL, JUSTINA’S CARE

The bitter custody battle between Justina’s parents and DCF began in February 2013 when the State charged the Pelletiers with medical neglect at the recommendation of Boston Children’s Hospital after Justina’s parents brought her to the ER with flu-like symptoms. At the time, the Tufts Medical Center doctor who had been treating Justina for mitochondrial disease was on vacation, and recommended that she go to BCH and see her regular Tufts specialist who had recently taken a job at BCH. After Justina’s arrival in the ER, BCH failed to review the child’s Tufts medical records, then diagnosed Justina with a controversial psychiatric disorder, cut off her medical treatment, and successfully filed an abuse petition with the State to have her removed from her parent’s custody.

Last winter, Massachusetts legislators prompted action from State actors on Justina’s case when they began asking questions about the seemingly endless flow of taxpayer money being spent by DCF to deprive the child of adequate medical treatment and access to her family, who has been shut out of Justina’s care and relegated to one hour of supervised visitation per week. Eventually, Justina was moved from BCH’s psychiatric lockdown unit to another locked ward the Wayside Youth Center in Framingham, Massachusetts.

In March 2014, Suffolk County Juvenile Court Judge Jeffrey Johnston issued a bitter judgment, permanently making the life long Connecticut resident a ward of the State of Massachusetts due to the inconvenience posed by Connecticut DCF’s refusal to take custody of Justina,and the Pelletiers “uncooperative” and feisty response to the State actors they say are responsible for depriving them of custody and keeping Justina sick for their profit. The judgment also removed BCH from the case and placed Justina under the medical care of Tufts Medical Center, the same provider BCH accused of misdiagnosing Justina and facilitating her parent’s alleged “medical abuse” in the child abuse petition that caused the State to take custody of Justina. By April 2014, Anonymous hacktivists had allegedly become involved in the movement to “free Justina,” launching attacks on Wayside’s and BCH’s websites.

On May 5, 2014, Massachusetts Health and Human Services Secretary John Polanowicz provided the Pelletier’s with a four point reunification plan consistent with Johnston’s decision, then announced plans to move Justina out of the Wayside Youth Center. In order to regain custody of Justina, the modest plan requires the Pelletiers to visit their daughter at the Wayne Center, follow through with the Tufts Medical plan for Justina [that they have no knowledge of or control over], attend family counseling, and meet with DCF.

Jennifer Pelletier says that thus far, the Wayne Center has been accommodating and gracious to the family and will allow them to spend time with their sister on a vastly more generous schedule. The family says they are meeting with DCF officials and the Wayne Center later today to hammer out a visitation schedule and discuss the possibility of allowing Justina to see her friends, who have not been allowed to see her for over a year. Jennifer says the schedule is mainly decided by the Wayne Center, not DCF, and the schedule will likely be decided based on times that do not interfere with Justina’s daily educational and medical care regimens, and could provide for as much as daily visits in the near future.

According to a Massachusetts HHS spokesperson, Judge Johnston’s orders provide for a hearing every six months to review Justina’s progress, meaning that the State could decide to transfer legal custody of Justina to her parents as soon as June 20, 2014.

The Pelletier’s say that while they are hopeful and pleased at Justina’s improved conditions and the State’s progress towards her transition home, they aren’t counting their chickens before they hatch.

“We are happy Justina is in a better place, but we will continue to fight to encourage the State to exercise it’s power to move her home today” says Linda Pelletier, Justina’s mother. “We can’t rest until Justina is home safe with her family where she belongs.”

Jennifer says that whenever Justina asks her why no one is listening to her and why it’s taking so long to bring her home, “I always ask her ‘what do I always say?’ and Justina responds ‘be patient, my big sister will always have my back.’”

Justina Pelletier: Judge Awards 'Permanent Custody' To Mass. DFC

Lou Pelletier, Father of Justina Pelletier on Glenn Beck Program and the Kelly File

The Fascists of Massachusetts… Can what is happening to the Pelletier family happen to you?

Pelletier Family Devastated After Court Hearing On Daughter's Custody

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Salute to the ‘Other Mothers’… On This 100th Anniversary of Mothers Day

On the 100th Anniversary of Mother’s Day

Mother's Day is a celebration honoring mothers and motherhood, maternal bonds, and the influence of mothers in society. It is celebrated on various days in many parts of the world, most commonly in spring… In the United States the celebration of Mother's Day began in the early 20th century; it is not related to the many celebrations of mothers and motherhood that have occurred throughout the world over thousands of years.  The modern American holiday of Mother's Day was first celebrated in 1908, when Anna Jarvis held a memorial for her mother in Grafton, West Virginia. Her campaign to make "Mother's Day" a recognized holiday in the United States began in 1905, the year her beloved mother, Ann Reeves Jarvis, died.  In 1912, Anna Jarvis trademarked the phrases "second Sunday in May" and "Mother's Day", and created the Mother's Day International Association. It was officially declared a holiday by President Woodrow Wilson in his 1914 presidential proclamation and by the U.S. Congress in relevant related bills.

“All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel Mother."  …Abraham Lincoln

I would like to dedicate this piece to all the ‘other mom’s out there… the adoptive moms, the stepmoms, the foster moms, the grandmothers, the aunts, older sisters and the God-mothers who stepped in, stepped up to help and in many cases took over the role of ‘Mother’ for many many children, but are later far too often forgotten, neglected, taken for granted and even shunned when the absentee moms or their families suddenly step back into the children’s lives that they abandoned… After those heroes the adoptive moms, the stepmoms, the foster moms, the grandmothers, the aunts, the sisters and the God-mothers stepped in and did their jobs, gave their children more and very often loved their children more than they ever considered, wanted to give or had to give, they too often then swoop in play on the heartstrings of the children who felt abandoned and benefit from the love of the people who nurtured their children. 

Anyone can be a Mother or Father… it is just a biological process. Not everyone can be a loving and nurturing Mom or Dad!  We all have a birth or natural mom somewhere and more women than not are natural or birth mothers; most making the transition to be a loving ‘mom’, but it is not until you walk in the shoes of an adoptive mom, a stepmom, a foster moms, or a grandmother, aunt, older sister or God-mother who had to take on the full mother role for someone else that you can understand that true dynamic.

It is easy to step in later, when the work is done and the bonds are forged, to fulfill ones own needs at the expense of the emotional well-being of the children left behind and the women who gave their all, including their hearts to those children when it was needed most.

I am a daughter, a sister, a niece, was a very involved aunt and have had the unique privilege of being a mom… a  stepmother to 3-children under 2-separate circumstances as well as being an adoptive mom.  I worked for one of the top children’s facilities in the country and have seen it all… the kind of ugly that nobody wants to think about and a few miracles along the way.  And I also have friends who are adoptive moms of kids that know and don’t know they are adopted, that are stepmoms under a myriad of circumstances, a few amazing foster parents, some family members who raised family members and some kids that came out of all those types of situations.  And I know some birth family members and birth mothers who made all the wrong and unfair decisions over and over again as well as step-families who never got it.  For me personally, It has been an honor, a source of endless frustration, the greatest joy in my life and the most heart-wrenching pain in my life to fill the various rolls of motherhood. 

Here are few letters from daughters:

From ‘Annie’s Mailbox’:

To a one-in-a-million Mom, to you, dear lady, for all the dreams you dreamed for us. Not one of us became the ballerina or vocalist or pianist or doctor or lawyer you were hoping for. The boys didn’t become millionaires, and the girls didn’t learn to speak six languages. Instead we are the children who forgot to say “thank you” when it probably would have meant a lot to you. We are the ones who talked when we should have listened. We are the little tykes who woke you before dawn to serve you the breakfast-in-bed birthday special: burnt toast, weak tea, unscrambled eggs and half-raw bacon swimming in grease. We gathered around your bed and sang “Happy Birthday, Dear Mommy.” You pretended to be thrilled and tried your darnedest to eat the mess we brought to your bed.

Our childhood is over, and here are the “thank-yous,” many years overdue. Thank you for being there when we needed you. Thanks for being our tower of strength when you needed support yourself. Thank you for believing in us when we had trouble believing in ourselves. Thank you for saying what we needed to hear and for knowing when silence meant more than words. Your wisdom seemed to come from a place that none of us could ever figure out. Thank you, Mom, for allowing us to dream our own dreams, even though your dreams were more glamorous. And thank you, too, for never letting on when we disappointed you.

Most of all, Mom, thank you for giving us the room we needed to grow and the freedom to learn from our own mistakes. We hope we can do half as well with our kids. — YOUR LOVING CHILDREN

Sent directly to Ask Marion:

I was adopted, but never knew it, until by birth mother showed up at our doorstep.  It was  a closed adoption and I never had a clue.  My adoptive parents and family were my family (still are) and I always felt like I was the luckiest kid there was, having such a great family and so many opportunities.  There was nothing that my parents didn’t or wouldn’t do for me and with me, yet they were strict; they instilled all the important values in me.

My life was turned upside down and it took years to recover from the selfish disruption caused by my birth or so-called real mother.  I was depressed for years and it almost destroyed my adoptive mom.  I chose never to see my birth mother again after that visit, but life was never quite the same, never as good, never as normal.  My adoptive parents and family are my family, my real parents, not the women who upended my life twice.  I only hope that I did not inherit her selfishness!  -- YOUR LOVING REAL DAUGHTER IN NEW YORK

Journal Standard:

Every Mother’s Day, I think of how often the amazing love that can be conferred by stepmothers is ignored on this day. When I was very little, my biological mother passed away. A few years later, my father married a wonderful woman who helped raise me. People often asked me whether she was my real mom. I always answered “yes.” We shared real smiles, had real fights and have real memories. She also put forward an enormous effort to make sure I maintained the cherished relationship I had with my biological mother’s family.  

These women are there, attending our games and dance recitals. They are there when we need a shoulder to cry on. And they are there to pick us up when we fall. They may not have given birth to us, but they are real mothers. — A REAL DAUGHTER IN NEBRASKA

Sent directly to Ask Marion:

My sister and I were in and out of group homes, with some incremental stops back with our parents, for years.  The short times back home were always bittersweet.  We knew they were temporary and even the short stays were like riding a roller coaster.  Then came my foster mom… foster parents.  They took my sister and I in and we have been part of their family every since and will be for the rest of our lives.  They cared about us and we grew to love each other.  We finally had a stable family; people we could depend on and a home.  -- GRATEFUL DAUGHTERS WHO LOVE YOU IN CALIFORNIA

Sent Directly to THITW:

My parents were teenagers when I was born.  My grandmother was fun but, to be honest she and her husband were flakes. Ultimately I was adopted through a family adoption.  The agreement was that it be a closed adoption; I was only 15-months old and apparently had no bonding with my birth mother who was not with my natural father. And from what I hear I spent a lot of time with the relatives that would be my mom and dad and, I never asked about my birth mother once after going to live with them as my permanent family.  At age 19 the rug was pulled out from under me when an uncle under pressure from my birth mother and her father told me I was adopted, with no advance warning or preparation.  I had led a storybook life, had everyone in my life as part of the family and, I had no inkling that I was adopted.

My birth mother and birth grandfather along with an idiot uncle destroyed my life.  I went off the deep end, destroying my relationship with the parents who really loved me and It ultimately killed my adoptive mother due to a deep and prolonged depression.  I was a fool and I would ask everyone who is lucky enough to have someone adopt your child and give you a second chance to start over to think twice about disrupting the lives of your child who has a good home and normal life as well as the life of the women (parents) who took on your responsibility, your place, and your job.

Ask yourself… why do you deserve to ruin your child’s life twice as well as the life of the women, the family, that gave both you and your child a fresh start, probably better than you ever could have, and destroy their home, their sanity and their family just to fill some hole or need within you.  Haven’t they already given you enough?  --FROM YOUR LOVING DAUGHTER WHO WILL ALWAYS BE SORRY FOR MY HESITATION! I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU DEARLY IN OKLAHOMA

Sent Directly to Ask Marion:

I want to thank my Aunt and Grandma who raised me, loved me and were always there for me.  I never missed not having my mom; they filled every void.  I DO miss that I never knew her since she died in child birth giving me life, for which I will be eternally grateful.  --YOUR GIRL FOREVER IN IDAHO

So please… remember the moms… the women who raised you, who loved you and who were there for you.  That is the true definition of a Mother… a Mom and Motherhood.  Call them today and every Mother’s Day! 

Related:

Animal Moms – Happy Mother’s Day 2014 

Sarah Palin's Views on Hillary Clinton (Becoming a Grandma), Donald Sterling and More!  

School Nixes Mother’s Day and Father’s Day for More Inclusive ‘International Day of Families’ (2013)

10 Top Reasons to Adopt A Pet On Mother’s Day… Or Any Other Day 

Mother’s Day 

Mother’s Day Part 2 – A View From Different Perspectives 

Rare Set of ‘Mono Mono’ Twin Girls Enter World Together In ‘Beautiful’ Way: Holding Hands 

Mom's emotional health during child's early years linked to teen's oral health

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The Season of Freedom and Special Needs Parenting

By Elise Ronan – Times of Israel: Freedom. The Jewish people are consumed with freedom. From our very earliest beginnings we fought for our individuality and the right to be whom we chose to be. Abraham started it. We can blame him I suppose for imbuing in our genes the need to be independent; to think for ourselves; to rely on our individuality and abilities alone. We Jews, personify freedom. We honor freedom, independence, self-reliance and self-discovery. We promote this freedom of choice in the celebrations of Passover or Hanukkah or remembering Masada and Bar Kochba. We, the Jewish people, have always held tightly to our need to choose our own path. We love being the iconoclast.

But what do you do when everything you were brought up to believe in is threatened? What do you do when your freedom, independence and abilities are truly called into question? When that inherent need to take charge of your life is no longer part and parcel of who you are? What do you do when you know that even with all the love that you have for your child, you need help from strangers? What do you do when you realize that you cannot do it all alone? That somewhere in your soul you realize that if you love your child enough, you need to hand their future over to a “village” of people in order for your child to survive?

Now this “village” is very different than the concept of “community” in Judaism. We are a universal People, we Jews. We are distinct human beings and at the same time part of a whole community. We are the inheritors of a legacy that has shaped human history and at the same time we are individuals with wants, needs and desires. We are ourselves and at the same time we are the embodiment of all Jews.

But a village that you create for your special needs child is something totally different than a community. When you have community in Judaism you begin by saying I am a part of something. It is a positive uplifting experience that gives you pleasure, succor and direction. You begin by saying “here I am.” But that is not how special needs parenting begins. Special needs parenting begins by asking “what am I to do now?” “Where am I to go with my child?” “Who will help my child” and in the end, “who will love my child enough to care for them when I am gone?” (#youmightbeanautismparentif You may have a will and a guardian picked out, but in the end you know you can never, ever die.)

The first thing you feel, as a special needs parent is fear (yes, with alot of pissed off thrown in too). Complete unadulterated, gnawing at your heart fear. Fear that takes your breath away. It changes you. You become someone else. You are no longer the you, you knew. Your soul is consumed. And you need to acknowledge something that goes against everything you ever thought you would have to acknowledge when parenting…. You have to admit that you have no idea how to help your child. You are at a loss. You feel so abjectly alone. You feel defeated in that you must recognize your need for strangers to help and guide you in this journey.

It is an interesting epiphany when you can finally realize that you need a village to raise your child. That no, you cannot do it alone. We are taught that parenting is something we pass on from generation unto generation. It is why the jokes abound about mommalies and daddalies when talking to our children. We see and hear our parents in ourselves. But that changes when you deal with a special needs child. What worked before will not work now. What was done for generations will not help your child. The concepts that so successfully raised multitudes of human beings no longer apply. Parenting a special needs child is not innate. It is a methodical thought out, wholly planned process. It is a unique understanding of parenting.

But what is most important when you finally acknowledge that you need that village is to remember above all else, that you have NOT failed. It is not an indictment of your parenting, but an acknowledgement of what a good parent you truly are to know you need help. To recognize that you cannot always be everything to your child is important. To know that there are others out there who are capable of providing support is very important. To recognize that if your child is to succeed in life, they will need more than you can give them takes parents who see beyond themselves. It takes a type of strength, something inherent in a free and independent people, to recognize that you cannot do everything all alone. Asking for help for your child takes bravery, it gets you beyond the fear.

Parenting a special needs child is walking into an unknown future, just as the Children of Israel walked out of Egypt to a future without direction, and yes most of us do it without the missteps of the golden calf (well, as best as we can anyway). Because unlike those who waked into Sinai, we know that we cannot understand or have control over the future. We know no idols or talismans will protect our children. By recognizing that we need help we have proceeded past that initial soul crushing terror and are ready to produce a future for our children. We know we will have to do our best to create a happy and positive world in which our children can live. We know that we can create to the best of our ability, a village of people who love, nurture and support our child. We know that we can only do the best that we can, no more. We have acknowledged, stripped the confusion from our souls, because in the end we finally admit that we too are merely human.

We learn over years, days, hours, even minutes, that the trajectory of our lives can change in an instant. We understand that community is one thing and creating a “village” is another. We try to impart unto our children what we can give each of them and grasp from strangers, who can and in many ways become like family, their knowledge and compassion to help our children succeed in life. Freedom and independence is not always about being steadfast and singular in our outlook. It is not always about standing on our own two feet. At times freedom and independence is knowing, just knowing, when we know nothing at all.

One day during a support group meeting, someone asked me what I would have done earlier in my children’s lives. I think they were looking for some great explanation of how to handle issues and events and what I might have done differently. They were looking in some way for guidance on how they should process and prepare for certain problems that could arise. That of course is what I do to help people. Give them the benefit of my past experience. Practical and realistic supports that can help with the day-to-day. I knew they wanted specifics. But I also knew, that before you can have specifics, before you can create a program of support, before you can produce a village, you need to acknowledge the reality of the situation and recognize your own human limitations.

So I answered simply, “ I wish I had been braver sooner.” And I knew, at that moment, with that acknowledgment, that I was  finally, truly, once again, on the path out of Egypt headed towards freedom. For the first step towards freedom is recognizing your fears. Second step is not giving in.

Related:

83 percent of brain injury vaccine compensation payouts were for autism caused by vaccines

Technorati Tags: Special Needs,Parenting Autism,Israel,FReedom

Justina Pelletier: Judge Awards 'Permanent Custody' To Mass. DFC

Justina Pelletier and Mom

JoshuaPundit: Judge Joseph Johnston has ruled that The Massachusetts Department of Families And Children (DFC) will have 'permanent custody' of 15-year-old Justina Pelletier, taking her away from her parents in spite of her own wishes and her rapidly declining health in state custody.

This case is a textbook example of child abuse promulgated by the legal system and an embedded bureaucracy, and it is worth looking at to see how far out of hand our ruling class has gotten.

Fourteen months ago, Justina, a Connecticut teen was being treated for mitochondrial disease, a group of rare genetic disorders affecting cellular energy production.Her physician who had been treating her, Dr. Mark Korson at Tufts, wanted the girl to visit gastroenterologist Dr. Alejandro Flores at Boston Children's Hospital, who had treated Justina at Tufts in the past. Being loving and concerned parents, the Pelletiers made the appointment with Dr. Flores and duly went to Boston Children's Hospital to have Justina seen.

When they got there, instead of seeing Dr. Flores, Justina was essentially kidnapped. She was taken to emergency where a resident refused to let her see Dr. Flores. Instead, he decided that this was a psychiatric case and sent Justina to a psychologist who diagnosed her with somatoform disorder -- a mental condition in which a patient experiences symptoms that are real but are psychosomatic.

When the Pelletiers rejected the new psychiatric diagnosis and wanted to bring Justina back to Tufts, the hospital first tried to force the girl's parents to sign papers admitting her as a psychiatric patient and when they refused and understandably became insistent at taking their daughter out of Boston Children's, the hospital got the state Department of Family and Children involved and accused the parents of medical child abuse.

They were not permitted to bring Justina home or to another facility. Instead, the teen was kept at Boston Children’s psychiatric ward for nearly a year where her physical condition deteriorated while the parents unsuccessfully fought the system to get Justina released.The DCF has allowed the parents only one hour per week to visit their daughter, but always with DCF personnel present. DCF would not allow the parents to photograph their daughter, and even filed a motion to hold Lou Pelletier in contempt of court for speaking to national media.

"Tufts was working fine with her, diagnosed medically, going to school, ice skating and doing all those things," Lou Pelletier said. "Look at her then and look at her now."
The DCF also has refused to provide the medical care Justina's condition requires, will not allow her access to a priest or to communion (she's Catholic) has refused to make any accommodations for her education, with the result that she is now almost two years behind her classmates in school.

Three weeks ago, Judge Johnston approved a written agreement transferring care back to Tufts Medical Center from Boston Children’s Hospital. That still hasn't been done, as Boston Children's has refused to make any appointments with the doctors there in spite of Justina's condition.

This decision by Judge Johnston was in response to a motion presented by the 15-year-old’s court-appointed lawyer and the lawyers for her parents, Linda and Lou Pelletier. It called for the girl's parents to be awarded “conditional custody” of their daughter.

Instead, the judge has granted permanent custody of Justina Pellatier to the DFC...who have done absolutely nothing to help her.

In his order, Johnston noted that the court considered granting conditional custody to the Pelletiers but “very concerning conduct … does not give this court any confidence they will comply with the conditions of custody.” The evidence? That Lou Pelletier once threatened a DFC social worker, who was afterward removed from the case, and oh yes..the media presence.

“Instead of engaging in quality visits with Justina, the parents use profanity directed at MA DCF personnel in Justina’s presence,” Johnston’s ruling said.

Johnston also included that he thinks Lou and Linda Pelletier should be “psychologically and clinically evaluated,” but refused to have the state of Massachusetts do it, insisiting that it must be coordinated through the State of Connecticut’s own DCF.

You bring your daughter in for medical treatment, she gets kidnapped, you see her dying in front of your eyes and you lose it with some heartless bureaucrat drone who's keeping her prisoner? And when you finally get fed up with doing the dance for months and go to the media to try to shed some sunlight on what's happening to your child, you need to be “psychologically and clinically evaluated?”

To tell you the truth, if the Pellatiers hadn't done that, I'd think they needed to be psychologically evaluated.

This is one of those canary in the coalmine moments. It is the State shoving our noses in the fact that they own our children and they know what's best, and we're just the sperm and egg donors.
What's next? On May 25th, Judge Johnston is expected revisit the decision to award permanent custody in a follow-up court hearing on May 25. His ruling leaves it up to the state DCF to decide whether or when Justina should be returned to her family, which means she could end up in state care until she turns 18. If she survives.

Meanwhile, the Pelltiers haven't given up. They're appealing the decision and have filed a writ of habeus corpus against Massachusetts for wrongful imprisonment. Hopefully this will get Justina freed by order of the Appellate courts, although it might just be that the attention this is generating could get Justina Pellatier freed sooner..perhaps at the review hearing in May.

Related: 

Lou Pelletier, Father of Justina Pelletier on Glenn Beck Program and the Kelly File 

The Fascists of Massachusetts… Can what is happening to the Pelletier family happen to you? 

Pelletier Family Devastated After Court Hearing On Daughter's Custody

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