Showing posts with label sharing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sharing. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Forum: What’s Your Earliest Childhood Memory?

The Council Forum: Every week on Monday morning, the Council and our invited guests weigh in at the Watcher’s Forum, short takes on a major issue of the day,the culture or something that’s just fun. This week’s question was: What’s Your Earliest Childhood Memory?

The Razor: Memories have been scientifically proven to be quite fallible, especially those of children, so I’m not sure how accurate my memory is. It is possible I saw the video later, but there is no way to prove it either way. Nevertheless I have always believed that my earliest memory is, at the age of 20 months, seeing the video of Robert F. Kennedy getting shot.

My family was Irish-Catholic New Deal Democrats. The Kennedy family was the embodiment of the American Dream combined with enlightened leadership, and the Kennedys were spoken with almost as much reverence as the Pope and the Holy Church. It wasn’t until I was in college that I was old enough to assess the Kennedy legacy subjectively, and even today, as a registered Republican and libertarian, I still hold JFK and RFK is higher regard than most. The assassinations struck my family hard, and I remember what to me were the sound of balloons popping and everyone around me crying. How accurate is this memory? I wish I could say, but it’s the earliest one I can date.

Another early political memory is of President Nixon’s visit to China. I was a little over 5 years old at the time playing with my infant niece. I remember saying “Peking!” and making her laugh while watching televised footage of the visit. Over and over I said “Peking!” and she laughed that rugged laugh of the infant that they quickly grow out of yet is so wonderful to elicit, especially when one is a child himself.

GrEaT sAtAn”S gIrLfRiEnD:  Whee… Mom n dad’s date night…

Bookworm Room: Two words:  Kennedy’s assassination.  I was just over two at the time, and my next memories don’t kick in for another two years, when I was about four.

The Colossus of Rhodey: The ambulance taking my mom to the hospital for the birth of my youngest sister. I was three.

JoshuaPundit: The earliest memory I have would have to be from when I couldn’t have been more than  two. One of the first places we lived was an apartment in Santa Monica, California. It had an eat in kitchen and a black and white checkered floor and I have a real clear member of me and my Day (Z”l) playing ball with a pair of balled up socks…him rolling the ball towards me and me going after it and laughing a lot. From around the same time, I also recall a favorite toy, a stuffed monkey I called (of course) Mr. Monkey. He looked vaguely like Curious George, only with black fur and red overalls.

The Independent Sentinel: My earliest memory was when I couldn’t breathe while suffering from the whooping cough.

My mother took me by the feet, held me upside down, and hit my back hard several times. She later said I turned blue.

I remember the doctor who came to the house. He was nice but looked sad. There were people whispering outside the bedroom.

My mother later said I was a year-and-a-half old. I don’t know if she was right about that but I didn’t have the language to find out what was going on so I must have been very young.

My mother said at the time that I would forget all about the episode so I decided to remember it.

I’m a rebel.

The Glittering Eye: I’ve been wracking my brains such as they are, trying to identify my earliest distinct memory. Since I’m probably the oldest member of the Council, as you might imagine, that would be from quite a while ago—from before most of my fellow Council members were born.

Like many people I have many memories from when I was five or six or more years old. For example, I remember Eisenhower’s first election campaign, MacArthur’s farewell speech, and so on but those aren’t my earliest memories. Oddly, I don’t remember Truman as having been president. Since he had once asked my dad to be his campaign manager I would have thought I might have remembered it.

My dad was what is now called an “early adopter” so I don’t remember a time without television. That means that I can date certain early memories by television shows that were only shown when I was four years old or younger and never shown in syndication. I can remember several of those.

I am the oldest of five siblings. I can remember when the third child was born and at that point I was less than four then. I can also remember being potty-trained and when I was moved from a bed with sides to one you slept on top of, something that struck me at the time as a dangerously unsafe state of affairs (I’m used to it now). Those must have been when I was between two and four years of age.

None of that compares with my wife’s earliest distinct recollections when she was less than two years old. I have learned that she never forgets anything ;-)

Nice Deb: My first memory is of being locked in the bathroom when I was 1 1/2. I remember my mother was outside the door in the hallway, trying to explain to me how to unlock it, but I just wasn’t getting it, and I was crying out of frustration and fear. My dad was at work so she called the fire dept. for help. They came with a big hook and ladder truck, sirens blaring which surprised my mother. She was a bit overwhelmed, not expecting such a big to-do. A fireman climbed up the ladder and broke through the bathroom window. He snatched me up, opened the door from the inside and handed me to my mother, “here ya go, ma’am.”

Mrs. Joshuapundit: I was about three and a half when my younger sister was born. My earliest memory is my mom throwing me a present she got for me out of the window of the hospital.

Ask Marion: My first memory is a bit blurry; I was 23-months old.  It is of walking down the gang-plank at the end of our sail, from Austria, by way of Germany to America.  I think the only reason I remember that from such a young age is that it must have been so important and momentous to my parents… leaving their former life behind and seeing the Statue of Liberty with a new future in front of them that it left a huge imprint on my mind even at that young age.

My next, clearer memory, was at age 31/2 when my mother and I walked to Alexander’s Market in Burbank, CA.  She was nine months pregnant. I, as I did every time we passed that counter, asked to get a banana split at the ice parlor at the entrance to the market.  The answer was generally no; I certainly couldn’t eat one on my own.  That afternoon my mom said yes and of course she had to eat the lion’s share.  Within two hours after that special treat and our walk home, my mother went into labor for which I felt responsible. I have always loved banana splits, but after that day I didn’t ask for another one for a long time.

Sharing our thoughts and memories is critical to the process of maintaining our family and cultural heritage.  Sitting and really talking is something Americans don’t do enough these days.  Make if part of your holiday season and New Years’ resolution list.  Looking back helps us as we move forward; it gives us perspective and often even answers, as long as we don’t get stuck there.  The question made me think of the Charles Krauthammer’s book: Things That Matter (Kindle)

Books, Knowledge, History, Memories… How Erasing Them Changes Cultures, Countries, The World – Updated 

Simpler Times – A Groetzmeier Christmas 

Happy 100th Birthday, Daddy

Well, there you have it.

Make sure to tune in every Monday for the Watcher’s Forum. And remember, every Wednesday, the Council has its weekly contest with the members nominating two posts each, one written by themselves and one written by someone from outside the group for consideration by the whole Council. The votes are cast by the Council, and the results are posted on Friday morning.

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Monday, November 3, 2008

Holidays Filled With Love

Every year as we close the door on ghosts, goblins and Halloween candy, the countdown begins. It's the fast-forward march to the holiday season, from Thanksgiving to New Year's, when ordinary life turns into plans, conversations, dreams and anxieties about where you are going, who you will be with, what you'll wear and on and on... and on. For those who have suffered a loss or are far from family, thoughts about the holidays bring up not only feelings of joy but also of sadness. If you are one of those sighing in despair, take heart. According to life coach and Daily Health News regular contributor Lauren Zander, chairman of the HandelGroup, it is possible to acknowledge and use those feelings to deepen the meaning of the holidays and bring about a new kind of joy.

Holiday merriment -- forced and real -- can also magnify feelings of grief. Whether the loss was recent or some time ago, memories collide with family traditions and emphasize the sense of loss. Don't move robotically through these occasions as if nothing has changed, advises Lauren -- instead, create a new activity that will at once honor the missing loved one and perhaps introduce a new tradition as well. One way is to start the season by asking family and friends to talk about what they miss most about the departed person -- perhaps Dad's keen sense of the absurd or Mom's unfailing graciousness. These stories can be shared at the holiday table -- at Thanksgiving for instance, celebrants can tell what the person brought into their life for which they are most thankful. Lauren suggests that another idea is to adapt a Jewish tradition that honors the lost loved one -- called Yahrzeit, a long-burning candle remains lit for 24 hours around the anniversary of his/her death. You might make this a Thanksgiving tradition, lighting a candle that burns all day as a way to keep your loved one present and also to help children and grandchildren understand the concept of memorializing loved ones. (Long-burning candles are available in specialty stores and even supermarkets.) If your loss is solitary, perhaps because you're not with family at Thanksgiving or you are mourning a failed relationship or a different sadness, make your own private list of memories. You could also use your feelings as a spur to call your family or friends for connection.

SHARING YOUR SADNESS

Sadness is part of life and nothing to hide, says Lauren. "Feeling sad about your loss is healthy and profound," she says. "It's a meaningful display of your love." When people hide their sadness and pretend they aren't feeling it, the internalized sorrow can lead to serious depression and even illness, says Lauren. Better is to share your feelings and work through them. If you are concerned about bringing others down, Lauren suggests finding an outlet before the festivities begin. Talk to a person or group with whom you are comfortable sharing your deep feelings. Doing so will help smooth the raw edges of your emotions so they aren't overwhelming. Having processed some of the heaviest ones, you may even be able to focus on positive memories to share during the holiday celebrations.

FEELING CONNECTED

Directly or indirectly, holidays always focus us on family, the one that is there and the ones that are not. If you are distant from your family, literally or figuratively, you may feel despair and even panic. Holidays tend to generate reflection about your life -- often in comparison to those around you. During the holidays, personal struggles may leave you feeling alone, in sharp contrast to the fairytale image of a big family table with happy people beaming at the turkey, รก la a Norman Rockwell painting, that you may presume is occurring in "everyone else's house."

In order to feel better, you could visit residents of a nursing home, work at a soup kitchen or take food to firefighters, but Lauren points out that it is crucial to spend at least part of a holiday with people to whom you feel connected. Instead of worrying about being left out, Lauren advises speaking up and asking friends if you can join them. People feel good about reaching out to others who might need emotional support -- but they don't always know that support is needed. Also, many people really enjoy adding newcomers to the family/friend mix at a holiday celebration. "Trust me," says Lauren, "good friends will be delighted to hear you would like to join them for the events they have lavished so much time and thought on."

MAKE SPECIAL DAYS EVEN BETTER

Even without personal drama in their lives, people often complain that the holidays have become empty of real meaning. Lauren suggests activities that can add a refreshingly personal depth. Here's what her family does: Before the Thanksgiving dinner, everyone writes general questions about past holidays on slips of paper to be drawn out and responded to. Possibilities include describing your most memorable Thanksgiving (searching for a turkey dinner in a foreign country, for example) or the worst culinary disaster (the turkey that stubbornly remained half raw after hours in the oven). The next round of questions can go deeper, covering topics such as your most poignant holiday memory. "By engaging in thoughtful activities like these, you can strengthen connections and get in touch with deeper emotions, which will start a tradition that can make all future holidays deeper and more memorable," says Lauren.

By: Lauren Zander, life coach

Source(s): Daily Health News